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In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past? v.2

In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past? v. 2
Nowadays, one of the essential issues that authorities encounter with it is a number of children in families. Actually, quantity of children in each family in the pass decades were more than now. Although there are a number of drawbacks occurring to have several children, I believe the benefits involved are more. On the downside, there are some disadvantage for having a big family. To begin with, by increasing the number of children in families, the amount of necessities to support their needs should be quite enough. Therefore, provide all facilities to live by continent are more likely easier to small families. Take a house for living parents and children together as an example; providing that how much families are small the houses have sufficient rooms to leave, but in big families' children would be share rooms together and less freedom. Moreover, in the most of the big families the duty of mother is that to provide the children needs and take care of them. Thus, the more larger families, the more problems they would be facing. However, the plus side cannot be ignored. Communication is one of the benefits of growing up in the large family. That is to say, the children that grow up in families with more people show better social behaviour and can easily enhance their relationship at school and society. A good illustration this is teamwork activities at school, which student coming from big families could probably adopt themselves sooner. In the meantime, the relationship between brothers and sisters at big families is one of the factors that can help to sustain families quite a resistance. Hence, children of big families have not only good communication, but they are more sociable in comparison with children of small families. To conclude, regardless of the drawbacks and difficulties of having a big family, I personally think that growing in big families can be more problematic, which children can take on very important issues how to face with this problems in their future life.
Nowadays, one of the essential issues that authorities encounter with it is a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Actually, quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the pass decades were more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Although there are a number of drawbacks occurring to have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe the benefits involved are more.

On the downside, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantage for having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, the amount of necessities to support their needs should be quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Therefore
, provide all facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by continent are more likely easier to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for living parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
together as an example; providing that how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
have sufficient rooms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
families'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be share rooms together and less freedom.
Moreover
, in the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
the duty of mother is that to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needs and take care of them.
Thus
, the
Use only "larger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, the more problems they would be facing.

However
, the plus side cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Communication is one of the benefits of growing up in the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
That is
to say, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that grow up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
better social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and can
easily
enhance their relationship at school and society. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration this is teamwork activities at school, which student coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
could
probably
adopt themselves sooner. In the meantime, the relationship between brothers and sisters at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is one of the factors that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to sustain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
quite a resistance.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are more sociable
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
families.

To conclude
, regardless of the drawbacks and difficulties of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that growing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can be more problematic, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can take on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues how to face with
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems in their future life.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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