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All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? v.7

All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? v. 7
The gap between the rich and the poor is getting bigger and bigger worldwide. This enormous gap certainly causes a lot of problems which one must endure solving through various means. There is almost an endless list of problems of poverty. To name a few, scarcity of food and water, lack of proper or even minimal clothing, weak shelters, increased mental frustration, indulgence in criminal activities and even self-destruction. The root cause of poverty is a lack of proper formal education and hence problems related to employment. Most of the countries spend huge amounts of money on educating rich people living in the urban areas. This creates an imbalance, as the poor people who live in villages do not get their fair share of education. They, on their own, are unable to meet with huge expenses, which are required to move to bigger cities. Very often government spend enormously on welcoming foreign diplomats or celebrities to their respective homelands. This is a sound example of the imbalance in wealth distribution throughout a country. Where the poor are struggling even harder to meet their basic means, the rich are getting pampered to the wealth and luxury. In order to overcome the problems of poverty, governments should do a careful and considerable analysis of the distribution of funds throughout their respective countries. Non-profit voluntary organisations should work actively in rural areas for the upliftment of the poor, mainly in trends of education. Furthermore, the rich and the prosperous should contribute financially and should work selflessly towards reducing poverty. I sum up saying that, the world would be a better place to live in only if we keep poverty from rising beyond limits.
The gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is getting bigger and bigger worldwide. This enormous gap
certainly
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
endure solving through various means.

There is almost an endless list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. To name a few, scarcity of food and water, lack of proper or even minimal clothing, weak shelters, increased mental frustration, indulgence in criminal activities and even self-destruction. The root cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is a lack of proper formal education and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to employment. Most of the countries spend huge amounts of money on educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the urban areas. This creates an imbalance, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in villages do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share of education. They, on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with huge expenses, which
are required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to bigger cities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spend
enormously
on welcoming foreign diplomats or celebrities to their respective homelands. This is a sound example of the imbalance in wealth distribution throughout a country. Where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are struggling even harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic means, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
are getting pampered to the wealth and luxury.

In order to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should do a careful and considerable analysis of the distribution of funds throughout their respective countries. Non-profit voluntary
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
should work
actively
in rural areas for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
,
mainly
in trends of education.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the prosperous should contribute
financially
and should work
selflessly
towards reducing poverty.

I sum up saying that, the world would be a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
from rising beyond limits.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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