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All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? v.3

All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? v. 3
It is true that in all over the world, especially in poverty stricken society, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. This essay is going to examine the causes and solutions. On the one hand, an increasing difference in earnings of rich and underprivileged will lead the poor committing the crime, such as snatching, kidnapping and murder. This is because, everyone needs some income to make ends meet, therefore, in case a vast majority of citizens could not be able to afford necessities like food, there is a likelihood that they indulge themselves in unlawful activities to earn some money. For example, the New York Times reported that nations with a higher gap in incomes have a high crime rate, and most of the culprits belong to poor society. There are several steps can be taken by government to tackle the issue. Firstly, the tax law should be based on every member of public income. That means, more income pay more tax. For instance, the one who earns the minimum should be tax exempt. Secondly, the wealth should not be exceeded to a certain level. If it happens, it should be given authority to spend on public facilities and expansion. Last but not least, the authorities should give fair job opportunities to people. A percentage of seats should be reserved in schools, colleges and work places for the poor people. In inclusion, many people owning more and more wealth, whereas the livelihood of the poor is declining day by day the world over. This is a concerning situation because it can lead to an increasing number of crimes and the best way to curb this problem is to raise the standards of the underprivileged society.
It is true that in all over the world,
especially
in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
society, the rich are becoming richer and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are becoming poorer. This essay is going to examine the causes and solutions.

On the one hand, an increasing difference in earnings of rich and underprivileged will lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
committing the crime, such as snatching, kidnapping and murder. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, everyone needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
,
therefore
, in case a vast majority of citizens could not be able to afford necessities like food, there is a likelihood that they indulge themselves in unlawful activities to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money.
For example
, the New York Times reported that nations with a higher gap in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
have a high crime rate, and most of the culprits belong to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
society.

There are several steps can
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to tackle the issue.
Firstly
, the tax law should
be based
on every member of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
. That means, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
pay more tax.
For instance
, the one who earns the minimum should be tax exempt.
Secondly
, the wealth should not
be exceeded
to a certain level. If it happens, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
authority to spend on public facilities and expansion. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the authorities should give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
job opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. A percentage of seats should
be reserved
in schools, colleges and work places for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In inclusion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
owning more and more wealth, whereas the livelihood of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is declining day by day the world over. This is a concerning situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can lead to an increasing number of crimes and the best way to curb this problem is to raise the standards of the underprivileged society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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