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People are never satisfied and always want more. In what ways is this a good thing and in what ways is this a bad thing? v.2

People are never satisfied and always want more. In what ways is this a good thing and in what ways is this a bad thing? v. 2
All types of progress have always been pushing by people's curiosity and desire to have more; however, another side is self-interest that leads people for controversial way. Consequently, people who want more initially not for yourselves do good things, although they a small part of the whole amount. Firstly, few persons can decline that dissatisfaction provides developmental progress because people, who want more and are not satisfied with that they have, provide innovation, and modified old things in more functional and modern. For example, Elon Reeve Musk that invents the electric car and other things. Besides, dissatisfied people have always been aiming at the new achievement that gives their life more sense and resistance to fail as reason has always prepared for it. Thus, unhappiness with current things has a profitable and positive impact on people's life. Notwithstanding, people have another part of the dissatisfaction that named self-interest and doubt on the self appearance that has always pushed them on ambiguous decisions such as illegal make money or plastic surgery. For instance, many modern women who change their faces or other parts of a body, or corrupt politicians. Moreover, the history demonstrates that when people turn from innovation to the self-interest way it has always bad aftermaths such as a new product with poor quality and higher price. Hence, this part has an only bad influence on the local economies and people's life because such people do not care about other people and live only for their wealth. To conclude, as everything in our world dissatisfaction and desire for more has two sides where one develop people's life, whereas another pull it down.
All types of progress have always been pushing by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
curiosity and desire to have more;
however
, another side is self-interest that leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for controversial way.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want more
initially
not for yourselves do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things, although they a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the whole amount.

Firstly
, few persons can decline that dissatisfaction provides developmental progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who want more and are not satisfied with that they have, provide innovation, and modified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things in more functional and modern.
For example
, Elon Reeve Musk that invents the electric car and other things.
Besides
, dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always been aiming at the new achievement that gives their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
more sense and resistance to fail as reason has always prepared for it.
Thus
, unhappiness with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
things has a profitable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
life.

Notwithstanding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the dissatisfaction that named self-interest and doubt on the self appearance that has always pushed them on ambiguous decisions such as illegal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money or plastic surgery.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern women who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their faces or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of a body, or corrupt politicians.
Moreover
, the history demonstrates that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn from innovation to the self-interest way it has always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
aftermaths such as a new product with poor quality and higher price.
Hence
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
has an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on the local economies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not care about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their wealth.

To conclude
, as everything in our world dissatisfaction and desire for more has two sides where one develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
life, whereas another pull it down.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay People are never satisfied and always want more. In what ways is this a good thing and in what ways is this a bad thing? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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