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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled? v.6

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled? v. 6
Nations worldwide are dealing with the increasing issue of obesity. This is a cause for concern for all age groups. There are two main causes, over-consumption of fast food and lack of exercise. Possible solutions would be a government tax on fast food and special incentives for gym membership to get people exercising. One of the reasons that people are becoming overweight these days is that they are eating more junk food, ready meals and convenience food rather than cooking healthy meals at home. This is because many people tend to lead a busy life after a long day at work it is easier to just buy ready meals in the supermarket or get a takeaway. For instance, In the UK, sales of these types of foods have risen considerably since 1990, this is due to busy people seeing cooking at home as time-consuming. To tackle this issue the government should take steps to increase the tax on high fat, high sugar or unhealthy foods. Therefore, consumers would think twice about the foods they consume, which could lead to them losing weight. Another problem that needs to be considered is lack of exercise. As a result of leading a hectic life with pressures at work, many people are just too tired to go to the gym or join a sports club. For example, after a hard day at work, most people prefer to just come home and sit in front of the TV. Furthermore, when people have time off, they tend to relax rather than go to a gym. One possible solution is for employers to consider the health and well being of their employees and offer in-house company gyms or special incentives, such as discounts to join a sports or fitness club. If this is implemented it would have a positive effect on peoples health and a reduction in weight gain. In conclusion, being overweight is an increasing issue because of consumption of fast food, convenience foods and not enough exercise due to work commitments. The government needs to look at taxing fast food and companies should set up incentives for gyms, sports or fitness clubs.
Nations worldwide are dealing with the increasing issue of obesity. This is a cause for concern for all age groups. There are two main causes, over-consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and lack of exercise. Possible solutions would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and special incentives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
membership to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exercising.

One of the reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming overweight these days is that they are eating more junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, ready meals and convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than cooking healthy meals at home. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to lead a busy life after a long day at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
it is easier to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ready meals in the supermarket or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a takeaway.
For instance
, In the UK, sales of these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have risen
considerably
since 1990, this is due to busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seeing cooking at home as time-consuming. To tackle this issue the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to increase the tax on high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, high sugar or unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Therefore
, consumers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
they consume, which could lead to them losing weight.

Another problem that needs to
be considered
is lack of exercise.
As a result
of leading a hectic life with pressures at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
too tired to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a sports club.
For example
, after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home and sit in front of the TV.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have time off, they tend to relax
rather
than go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
. One possible solution is for employers to consider the health and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of their employees and offer in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
or special incentives, such as discounts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a sport" or simply "sports"?
a sports
or fitness club. If this
is implemented
it would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
health and a reduction in weight gain.

In conclusion
, being overweight is an increasing issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
exercise due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
commitments. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to look at taxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should set up incentives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
, sports or fitness clubs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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