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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for the rise in obesity? . How could it be tackled? v.1

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for the rise in obesity? . How could it be tackled? v. 1
In recent times, there has been a significant increase in the number of obese population both among the young and old globally. This has continually become a major challenge for most nations. This essay would highlight the main causes of this increasing trend and also profer solutions to curb this problem. One of the major factors that has caused the rise in the number of obese people is increased consumption of junk foods. Majority of people nowadays fail to eat balanced and healthy meals rather they consume snacks and fatty meals which are notoriously known to be high calorie foods. Also, there have been a tremendous increase in the number of fastfood outlets where these junk meals are been sold. This would encourage more people eating meals which are fattening and are unhealthy. For example, the number of people that are obese in the USA have tripled over the last decade and was attributed to the rise in the number of restaurants where pizza, burger and other pastries are being served. In order to reduce the growing trend in obesity, people should be educated on the health implications and problems associated with obesity such as stroke, Diabetes mellitus and cardiovascular diseases. Such awareness can be created via social media, newspapers and television. Secondly, the government should close down some of the fastfood outlets and also put up policies such as heavy taxation that would discourage anybody that might be entertaining any thought of opening them in the future. In conclusion, obesity has remained a menace in many societies. Consumption of unhealthy meals as well as increase in the number of places where these junk foods are sold are some of the identified causes of increase in the number of children and adults with obesity. It is imperative for the government and the general public to do their best to put a stop to this.
In recent times, there has been a significant
increase
in the
number
of obese population both among the young and
old
globally. This has
continually
become a major challenge for most nations. This essay would highlight the main causes of this increasing trend and
also
profer
solutions to curb this problem.

One of the major factors that has caused the rise in the
number
of obese
people
is increased
consumption of junk foods. Majority of
people
nowadays fail to eat balanced and healthy
meals
rather
they consume snacks and fatty
meals
which are
notoriously
known to be high calorie foods.
Also
, there have been a tremendous
increase
in the
number
of
fastfood
outlets where these junk
meals
are been
sold. This would encourage more
people
eating
meals
which are fattening and are unhealthy.
For example
, the
number
of
people
that are obese in the USA have tripled over the last decade and
was attributed
to the rise in the
number
of restaurants where pizza, burger and other pastries are
being served
.

In order to
reduce
the growing trend in obesity,
people
should
be educated
on the health implications and problems associated with obesity such as stroke, Diabetes mellitus and cardiovascular diseases. Such awareness can
be created
via social media, newspapers and television.
Secondly
, the
government
should close down
some of the
fastfood
outlets and
also
put up policies such as heavy taxation that would discourage anybody that might be entertaining any
thought
of opening them in the future.

In conclusion
, obesity has remained a menace in
many
societies. Consumption of unhealthy
meals
as well
as
increase
in the
number
of places where these junk foods
are sold
are
some of the
identified causes of
increase
in the
number
of children and adults with obesity. It is imperative for the
government
and the
general public
to do their best to put a
stop
to this.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for the rise in obesity? . How could it be tackled? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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