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Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school others However say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both the points and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school others However say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. 1
Although it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition helps Children learn the most important skills for their future On the one hand, some people think that children who learn to compete against each other often do better in school and I agree. In other words, the competition between students motives them to excel in their studies or tasks which, Consequently, produces better academic performance and results for example, students generally apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates furthermore, being driven to achieve the best is vital in order to succeed later in life when as adults, they must compete against other in the job market On the other hand, it is often believed that is is better if the emphasis at school is on cooperating with others. As people, we do not live, work or socialise apart from others, so learning how to work along side other people ought to be taught from childhood. Without this skill, children would lack the ability to communicate with each other or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts in a constructive way another reason why team skills are useful for children is that they can learn how to negotiate to complete a task. This is an essentially skills to learn for their future life In conclusion, while people myay vary in their opinion, I think that children stand a better chance to succeed both in school and later in life they are encouraged to complete against each other
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ought to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to compete,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for their future

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to compete against each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the competition between students motives them to excel in their studies or tasks which,
Consequently
, produces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
academic performance and results
for example
, students
generally
apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates
furthermore
,
being driven
to achieve the best is vital in order to succeed later in life when as adults, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
compete against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in the job market

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
if the emphasis at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is on cooperating with others. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, work or
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
apart from others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
learning how to work
Did you mean "alongside"?
along side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to
be taught
from childhood. Without this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would lack the ability to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts
Consider replacing "in a constructive way" with the adverb for "constructive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a constructive way
another reason why team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to negotiate to complete a task. This is an
essentially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
for their future
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life


In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
myay
vary in their opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to succeed both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and later in life they
are encouraged
to complete against each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school others However say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. 1

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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