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All levels of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? v.2

All levels of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. v. 2
In the modern world, the tuition fee has been a matter of great concern. Some people believe that educational institutions program should provide their service completely free. However, I personally disagree with this idea for the following reasons. From the educational point of views, it is obviously true that students do not have to pay money during their education progress tend to lose study motivation. This is because whether give money or not, they still would obtain equally service from knowledge to facility. These ones also result in decreasing student’s performance, increasing the proportion of leavers from schools. Furthermore, if students do not pay tuition fees, the schools would lose budget to upgrade facility and infrastructure, which make students study better. From an economic point of views, cutting off tuition fee perhaps gets more burden on the national budget. The government maybe spend overwhelming money for education and insufficient money for other necessary sectors such as agriculture, social welfare and the public health care. In addition, taxpayers perhaps find it unfair when they have to pay more money for the field they do not directly use. For example, in Ha Dong districts, where applied free tuition in 2017, the authorities have to increased education budget twice as much as normal to pay the salaries for teachers, this means that they also lost 50% money to invest in other fields. In conclusion, While free education has their own advantages in some extents, I personally concur that the government should not apply this tendency because they might adversely affect both individuals, schools and the society.
In the modern world, the tuition fee has been a matter of great concern.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that educational institutions program should provide their service completely free.
However
, I
personally
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for the following reasons.

From the educational point of views, it is
obviously
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
progress tend to lose study motivation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whether give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or not, they
still
would obtain
equally
service from knowledge to facility.
This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write "These" instead.
These ones
also
result in decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
performance, increasing the proportion of leavers from schools.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
tuition fees, the schools would lose budget to upgrade facility and infrastructure, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study better.

From an economic point of views, cutting off tuition fee perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more burden on the national budget. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
maybe spend overwhelming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for other necessary sectors such as agriculture, social welfare and the public health care.
In addition
, taxpayers perhaps find it unfair when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the field they do not
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For example
, in Ha Dong districts, where applied free tuition in 2017, the authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
budget twice as much as normal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the salaries for teachers, this means that they
also
lost 50%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to invest in other fields.

In conclusion
, While free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extents, I
personally
concur that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not apply this tendency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might
adversely
affect both individuals, schools and the society.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay All levels of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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