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Today people spend more time travelling to work than before. Some people suggest employers should allow employees to do some work home. Do you think that advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Today people spend more time travelling to work than before. Some people suggest employers should allow employees to do some work home. Do you think that advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Nowadays, some employees spend enormous travelling time to reach their organizations to work. In many cases people get tired due to hectic traffic and air pollution, which affects their productivity in leaps and bounds. When there is any emergency situations, staff feel great pain to reach their office and it also creates fear among family members how they will reach home safely. In such conditions corporate organisations provide work from home option to their employees, which aids them to continue their without any interruption. In the following passage, I will explain both the sides of ongoing trend. During hectic weather conditions it is tedious for employees to come to office and continue day-to-day operations. In such circumstances, work from home option can be used to provide constant support without compromising their safety. For instance, during recent flood in Chennai, many employers requested their staff to work from home, so that their regular routines are not halted. Moreover, when employee’s dependants are unwell, they can concentrate both work and health of their family members. In addition, it also helps employers to save huge operating cost. If there is any work location scarcity then work from option can be used efficiently. Thus, it is believed, work from home culture give great flexibility to both firms and to their staffs. When employees do work from home they can be easily distracted and their productivity is severely impacted. Furthermore, if there is any technical glitch then it will be tough for them to work efficiently. Additionally, there are chances for some employees bit able to attend offline meeting which can create miscommunication among team members. For example, my team member was working from home, where he was unable to take part in an emergency meeting and when he returned his understanding was not inline with their peers. Therefore, it is assumed, work from home option impacts the productivity of any organisation in various ways. To sum up, employers require their regular work routines to continue during all unexpected situations, then work from home option provides help their cause in many ways. Considering the above facets positives outweighs negatives in all aspects.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
spend enormous travelling time to reach their organizations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired due to hectic traffic and air pollution, which affects their productivity in leaps and bounds. When there is any emergency situations, staff feel great pain to reach their office and it
also
creates fear among family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
how they will reach home
safely
. In such conditions corporate
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, which aids them to continue their without any interruption. In the following passage, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the sides of ongoing trend.

During hectic weather conditions it is tedious for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to office and continue day-to-day operations. In such circumstances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to provide constant support without compromising their safety.
For instance
, during recent flood in Chennai,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers requested their staff to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their regular routines are not halted.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependants
are unwell, they can concentrate both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and health of their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
In addition
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
employers to save huge operating cost. If there is any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
location scarcity then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
efficiently
.
Thus
, it
is believed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home culture give great flexibility to both firms and to their staffs.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home they can be
easily
distracted and their productivity is
severely
impacted.
Furthermore
, if there is any technical glitch then it will be tough for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
.
Additionally
, there are chances for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
bit able to attend offline meeting which can create miscommunication among team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
For example
, my team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
was working from home, where he was unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in an emergency meeting and when he returned his understanding was not inline with their peers.
Therefore
, it
is assumed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
impacts the productivity of any
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
in various ways.

To sum up, employers require their regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
routines to continue during all unexpected situations, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their cause in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Considering the above facets positives outweighs negatives in all aspects.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today people spend more time travelling to work than before. Some people suggest employers should allow employees to do some work home. Do you think that advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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