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All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. v. 1
A law allowing Electric cars to replace all carbon emitting vehicles should be introduced, this I agree with in its entirety. It is already a fact based on research carried out over the years that carbon emitting cars contribute in no small way to environmental/air pollution. The air we breathe in continues to be unsafe for plants and animals as long as we keep making use of unclean energy. However, the advent of modern technology has birthed the use of clean energy with the introduction of electric cars and solar powered engines. This modern equipment is powered by plugging the vehicles with electric cables and allowing them to charge. No fuel is required to power the equipment unlike the diesel powered vehicles that burn fuel and emit carbon monoxide which is harmful to living things. Meanwhile, the electric cars are quite expensive compared to the old technology. This is because it is yet to be generally accepted the world over, especially in Africa whose inhabitants depends on imported technology to survive. It is hoped that in the next few years, financial constraints will become less of a burden on Africans and the world would embrace this alternative, so people will live happier and healthier lives. Furthermore, we all need to encourage the use of clean energy even in our homes. It is common knowledge that people have lost their lives due to the use of smoke emitting fuel generators to power household appliances. Lastly, the importance of clean energy cannot be overemphasized. It is like heaven, to imagine a moving car that goes from one point to another without the usual dark smoke that trails a faulty engine or the thick white smoke that slowly diffuses into the atmosphere due to too much or wrong engine oil.
A law allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to replace all carbon emitting vehicles should
be introduced
, this I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with in its entirety.

It is already a fact based on research carried out over the years that carbon emitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
contribute in no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
way to environmental/air pollution.

The air we breathe in continues to be unsafe for plants and animals as long as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of unclean energy.

However
, the advent of modern technology has birthed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of clean energy with the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and solar powered engines.

This modern equipment
is powered
by plugging the vehicles with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
cables and allowing them to charge.

No fuel
is required
to power the equipment unlike the diesel powered vehicles that burn fuel and emit carbon monoxide which is harmful to living things.

Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are quite expensive compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technology.

This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
yet
to be
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
the world over,
especially
in Africa whose inhabitants
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "depend".
depends
on imported technology to survive.

It
is hoped
that in the
next
few years, financial constraints will become less of a burden on Africans and the world would embrace this alternative,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happier and healthier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Furthermore
, we all need to encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of clean energy even in our homes.

It is common knowledge that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smoke emitting fuel generators to power household appliances.

Lastly
, the importance of clean energy cannot
be overemphasized
.

It is like heaven, to imagine a moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
that goes from one point to another without the usual dark smoke that trails a faulty engine or the thick white smoke that
slowly
diffuses into the atmosphere due to too much or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
engine oil.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
13 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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