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: Some people choose friends who are different from themselves. Others choose friends who are similar to themselves. Compare the advantages of having friends who are different from you with the advantages of having friends who are similar to you. Which ki v.2

: Some people choose friends who are different from themselves. Others choose friends who are similar to themselves. Compare the advantages of having friends who are different from you with the advantages of having friends who are similar to you. Which ki v. 2
To earn loads of money, one must own or have a share in a successful company because a job never makes anyone rich. This thought has led many to believe that a business is successful only if it is producing lots of profits. I believe that money is an indicator of success, however, not the only one, but one of the many parameters. A huge sum of amount is needed to start a business and therefore, it is very likely to consider the turnover as the important parameter of achievement. For example, to stay in business or maintain the success, an organization needs to deal with numerous costs such as employee's salaries, raw materials etc. Additionally, if a company wants to grow and expand, then it needs a great deal of money to acquire or invest with the other companies. So, liquid assets are for sure very important indicator for the enterprise to estimate its achievements. There are multiple other indicators of success. Firstly, happy employees can be considered as an accomplishment by an organisation. Because if employees are not happy and satisfied, then they cannot give their best performance, which in turn can lead to decline in the turnovers of the product. The goodwill of the company is another parameter. Some companies may not earn profits by leaps, but can have trust among its customers earned by customer satisfaction, social service etc. This customer trust will eventually lead to better sales and hence, can be considered as an accomplishment. In conclusion, no doubt profits are important indicators of achievement for enterprises, but the happiness quotient of employees and the goodwill of the enterprise are the other as important indicators.
To earn loads of money, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or have a share in a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a job never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
anyone rich. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
has led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to believe that a business is successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if it is producing lots of profits. I believe that money is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicator
of success,
however
, not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parameters.

A huge sum of amount
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business and
therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely to consider the turnover as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
parameter of achievement.
For example
, to stay in business or maintain the success, an organization needs to deal with numerous costs such as employee's salaries, raw materials etc.
Additionally
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
wants to grow and expand, then it needs a great deal of money to acquire or invest with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, liquid assets are for sure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicator
for the enterprise to estimate its achievements.

There are multiple other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
of success.
Firstly
, happy employees can
be considered
as an accomplishment by an
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if employees are not happy and satisfied, then they cannot give their best performance, which in turn can lead to decline in the turnovers of the product. The goodwill of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is another parameter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may not earn profits by leaps,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can have trust among its customers earned by customer satisfaction, social service etc. This customer trust will
eventually
lead to better sales and
hence
, can
be considered
as an accomplishment.

In conclusion
, no doubt profits are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
of achievement for enterprises,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the happiness quotient of employees and the goodwill of the enterprise are the other as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : Some people choose friends who are different from themselves. Others choose friends who are similar to themselves. Compare the advantages of having friends who are different from you with the advantages of having friends who are similar to you. Which ki v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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