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Agree or disagree education students in difficult compared to past because of internet, cell phone, etc. v.2

Agree or disagree education students in difficult compared to past because of internet, cell phone, etc. v. 2
The time one spends on education is one of the most crucial periods in one' s life; as it leads one to happiness and satisfaction and shapes the ensuing life. Hence one of the most controversial issues amongst many people is the children' s education level. As far as I am concerned in the state of ambivalence, I might lean toward recent education improvement and feasibility. Conceivably, some people believe that there are more hardships in teaching children compared to the past, however, there are many reasons such as resource enhancement and lecturers experience improvement which can declare a higher beneficiary of recent education methods. I will interpret my points in the following essay. First, references are advantageous due to the valuable knowledge that included in the materials. Doubtlessly, wisdom helps to broaden the happiness level and enrich one' s life quality. To obtain resources one community needs technology to collect and transmit data and technologies such as the internet, cell phone, etc. which would not be available in the test. Granted, technology disturbs children, but there are many other distracting means. As an illustrative example, some years ago when I attended high school at Beheshty high school in Iran, there was a girl named Sara. Sara used to spend many hours on the internet, surfing through websites. In the beginning, everyone assumed that she is going to fail the exams, but it was not true. Fortunately, she gained the highest score in many subjects and even got selected as the captain of the computer team. The time she spent on technology was meant to destroy her education, but she was, in fact, learning about school subjects via technology, and things did not go as the classmates, who spend their time on inefficiently, assumed. As one can see, resources are valuable to gain knowledge and associates with recent improvements in devices. Secondly, it is not presumptuous to judge improvements in the educational system regarding the time. No man can truly assume a bad teaching experience in the past, but it is evident that teachers and parents have much knowledge regarding the children compared to the past. A teacher who appears to teach sufficiently might have spent a great amount of time surfing the internet about trending teaching methods and Educational experience, in many cases. My personal experiences are the foundation behind my next point. The time researchers spend to develop educational knowledge directly influences the teachers' experiences in teaching methods which are imperative to better methods being used in schools and the educational system. Surely, it is wise to value the technology and internet than to deny its benefits and stick to past educational methods. I am of the conviction that one needs many references and experienced teachers. It is my suggestion and its effects are clear in the knowledge reinforcement between today' s students and them experiencing facilitated educational methods at school. Based on the aforementioned reasons, I conclude that children' s education is easier and more fun compared to the past. All in all, a coin has two sides and an edge to connect them, so it is wise to use technology sufficiently.
The
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time
one
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spends
on
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education
is one of the most crucial periods in
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one&
#039; s life; as it leads one to happiness and satisfaction and shapes the ensuing life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
one of the most controversial issues amongst
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the
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children&
#039; s
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education
level. As far as I
am concerned
in the state of ambivalence, I might lean toward recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
and feasibility.
Conceivably
,
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there are more hardships in
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teaching
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children
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons such as resource enhancement and lecturers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
which can declare a higher beneficiary of recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
. I will interpret my points in the following essay.

First
, references are advantageous due to the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that included in the materials.
Doubtlessly
, wisdom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to broaden the happiness level and enrich
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s life quality. To obtain resources one community needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to collect and transmit data and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as the internet, cell phone, etc. which would not be available in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. Granted,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
disturbs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other distracting means. As an illustrative example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years ago when I attended high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beheshty
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Iran, there was a girl named Sara. Sara
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours on the internet, surfing through websites. In the beginning, everyone assumed that she is going to fail the exams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was not true.
Fortunately
, she gained the highest score in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
selected as the captain of the computer team. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
she spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was meant
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she was, in fact, learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, and things did not go as the classmates, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
inefficiently
, assumed. As one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, resources are valuable to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and associates with recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvements
in devices.

Secondly
, it is not presumptuous to judge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvements
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. No
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
truly
assume a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and parents have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
who appears to teach
sufficiently
might have spent a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
surfing the internet about trending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
and
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Educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases. My personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are the foundation behind my
next
point. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
researchers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
directly
influences the
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teachers&
#039;
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experiences
in
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teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
which are imperative to better
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methods
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
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schools
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system.
Surely
, it is wise to value the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and internet than to deny its benefits and stick to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
methods.

I am of the conviction that one needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
references and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. It is my suggestion and its effects are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
reinforcement between
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today&
#039; s students and them experiencing facilitated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Based on the aforementioned reasons, I conclude that
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is easier and more fun compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. All in all, a coin has two sides and an edge to connect them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is wise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
sufficiently
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree education students in difficult compared to past because of internet, cell phone, etc. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
525 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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