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Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v.3

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 3
Some may acquiesce with the fact that replacing old structures with contemporary monuments is a good idea while others may not condone with this. However, I candidly believe that historic structures should be preserved. This essay outlines the coherent reasons for doing so. Industrialization has evolved, thus leading to an insatiable desire for wealth. Demolishing of old buildings for spaces to build casinos and hotels has been a norm these days. Old buildings are a depiction of our native history for example; the Jalian Wala Bagh in Amritsar, shows the people who lost their lives, this revives patriotism in the youth. The Taj Mahal in India, a monument of love serves as an example of unconditional love. These are emblems which will assist children to learn history. In New Zealand, old earth pots were discovered from old monuments, that helped assess which cereals our ancestors ate. Secondly, History revitalizes the tourism industry, an instance of this is the Fort Jesus Museum in Mombasa, Kenya. A huge number of local and foreign tourists pay a visit to the museum regularly. This thus leads to an appreciation of the local currency and cross-cultural pollination, therefore bringing a country to a trajectory model. The funds raised through tourism may be used for refurbishing the old structures. To recapitulate it all, I firmly believe historical structures are a heritage of any country. Thereby destroying them is like unleashing a lethal war on our history. An example is better than a precept, and history can, therefore, be taught by the use of old monuments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may acquiesce with the fact that replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
structures with contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
while others may not condone with this.
However
, I
candidly
believe that historic structures should
be preserved
. This essay outlines the coherent reasons for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Industrialization has evolved,
thus
leading to an insatiable desire for wealth. Demolishing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
buildings for spaces to build casinos and hotels has been a norm these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
buildings are a depiction of our native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
for example
; the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jalian
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wala
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bagh
in Amritsar,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, this revives patriotism in the youth. The Taj Mahal in India, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monument
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
serves as an example of unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. These are emblems which will assist children to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. In New Zealand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
earth pots
were discovered
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
assess which cereals our ancestors ate.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
revitalizes the tourism industry, an instance of this is the Fort Jesus Museum in Mombasa, Kenya. A huge number of local and foreign tourists pay a visit to the museum
regularly
. This
thus
leads to an appreciation of the local currency and cross-cultural pollination,
therefore
bringing a country to a trajectory model. The funds raised through tourism may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for refurbishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
structures.

To recapitulate it all, I
firmly
believe historical structures are a heritage of any country. Thereby destroying them is like unleashing a lethal war on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. An example is better than a precept, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
can,
therefore
,
be taught
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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