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agree or disagreepeople learn things better from those at their own level such as fellow students than from higher level such as teacher and supervisors. v.1

agree or disagreepeople learn things better from those at their own level such as fellow students than from higher level such as teacher and supervisors. v. 1
Parents are the lifelong teachers to their children. As teachers are required to acquire qualification to teach, some people believe it is necessary for young people to learn how to be a qualified parent in the institute. Personally, I disagree with this approach. I think that young people do not need to learn the skills of being a good guardian in school, rather they should learn it gradually after grown-up. To begin with, to learn how to be a qualified guardian in an institution is totally unreasonable. First, parenting involves a board range of disciplines, including basic disciplines like physic and biology and advanced disciplines like nutrition and psychology. All these subjects will take dozens of years to study. Second, the skill of being a good father-mother is mainly based on the sophistication. Every child shows a unique character; therefore, parents must develop the accordingly specific approach toward it. Take myself for example, I was an extremely ill-tempered child when I was in my childhood. I think my guardian will never meet another child like me. Thus, it is irrational to teach young people the parental knowledge in school. On the other hand, young people can learn this knowledge from experience and books. The wisdom to yourself and other people is an excellent resource. Some people even write their understanding into books; therefore, young people can refer those parenting books. People who had negative memories of punishment will endeavour not to verbally or physically attack their children because they do not want to see their own children experience the same misery as they did. Therefore, young people will eventually become a qualified parent with sense gained from childhood till the birth of the infant. In conclusion, I oppose the idea that young people learn parenting skills in school, which I think is a waste of time. Young people will become qualified parent as long as they learn parenting skills from the experience of their own and others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the lifelong teachers to their children. As teachers
are required
to acquire qualification to teach,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
in the institute.
Personally
, I disagree with this approach. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
guardian in school,
rather
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it
gradually
after grown-up.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
guardian in an institution is
totally
unreasonable.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
involves a board range of disciplines, including basic disciplines like physic and biology and advanced disciplines like nutrition and psychology. All these subjects will take dozens of years to study. Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
father-mother is
mainly
based on the sophistication. Every child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a unique character;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
develop the
accordingly
specific approach toward it. Take myself
for example
, I was an
extremely
ill-tempered child when I was in my childhood. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
my guardian will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
another child like me.
Thus
, it is irrational to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the parental knowledge in school.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
this knowledge from experience and books. The wisdom to yourself and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
an excellent resource.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even write their understanding into books;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can refer those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
books.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
memories of punishment will
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
not to
verbally
or
physically
attack their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
children experience the same misery as they did.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
eventually
become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
with sense gained from childhood till the birth of the infant.

In conclusion
, I oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in school, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is a waste of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
as long as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from the experience of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay agree or disagreepeople learn things better from those at their own level such as fellow students than from higher level such as teacher and supervisors. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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