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q5W: John, did you tell your academic advisor your major yet? M: [Hesitant] Actually, no. W: I thought you said you knew what you wanted to study. M: I did. But, that was last week. Every time I feel like I found what I want to study I begin to doubt myself v.1

q5W: John, did you tell your academic advisor your major yet? M: [Hesitant] Actually, no. W: I thought you said you knew what you wanted to study. M: I did. But, that was last week. Every time I feel like I found what I want to study I begin to doubt myself v. 1
In developed countries, it is sometimes argued that family members who have aged citizens living in a care facility should be responsible for their cost of living, while others consider that the government should bear the responsibility. However, in my opinion, I will argue that although families should pay some minor fees, the government should shoulder the bulk of the cost. To begin with, the primary responsibility of any government is the welfare of its citizens, especially the old. This is because many people in their old age are left with few or no relatives, therefore, they have little or no financial support to sustain a good standard of living. In other words, the government should fund the larger cost of living in a home, which provides them with optimum care and a sense of belonging in the society. Moreover, governments usually have more financial resources to help fund housing facilities which ensure its older citizens are taken good care of. This will ensure that older citizens with relatives who are poor will have access to good care. On the other hand, the families of old citizens have a role to play in ensuring that their aged relatives have an accomodation that suit their needs as a sense of duty. Consequently, they can be allowed to pay a subsidized amount of money. This will ensure that they contribute to the welfare of their old ones. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the government has a larger role to play in contributing to the cost of funding care homes for its aged citizens because it is their responsibility and they have the means to. Nevertheless, relatives of older people should also bear some financial responsibilities too.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that family members who have aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facility should be responsible for their cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
, while others consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should bear the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
.
However
, in my opinion, I will argue that although families should pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor fees, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should shoulder the bulk of the cost.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is the welfare of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with few or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
,
therefore
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no financial support to sustain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should fund the larger cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a home, which provides them with optimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and a sense of belonging in the society.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
usually
have more financial resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fund housing facilities which ensure its older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
are taken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of. This will ensure that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
who are poor will have access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care.

On the other hand
, the families of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
have a role to play in ensuring that their aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
have an
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
that suit their needs as a sense of duty.
Consequently
, they can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to pay a subsidized amount of money. This will ensure that they contribute to the welfare of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ones.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has a larger role to play in contributing to the cost of funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
homes for its aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
responsibility and
they have the means to.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
of older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
also
bear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
too.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q5W: John, did you tell your academic advisor your major yet? M: [Hesitant] Actually, no. W: I thought you said you knew what you wanted to study. M: I did. But, that was last week. Every time I feel like I found what I want to study I begin to doubt myself v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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