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If a person to whom you know wants to move to your city. What you think that what will be his liking and disliking. v.1

If a person to whom you know wants to move to your city. What you think that what will be his liking and disliking. v. 1
Most people in Britain, when they get older go to live in a home with other older people. The expense for the care at homes may sometime be borne by the government. The debate arises about who should pay for the home, Whether it is the government or the family. I think it should be the family that should pay for the expense. On one hand, the government already provides facilities like the health care for the elders, Pension plans and social security benefits among others. Though paying for long time care of elderly people is desirable. However, it would strain the budget and availability of funds to other services, like education, health care, security and infrastructures. Moreover, a person living in such a home is a choice and the criteria and expectation of the individual differs from a wide range. As government provides benefits like pension plans, tax benefits and retirement saving. People should save the money for long term care during the younger days. The expense of elderly care should be borne by the family. As we have benefits like tax exempted retirement saving, High interest on retirement saving. Furthermore, the expense could be taken from the saving of the individual. Also, they could take an insurance for covering the expense for the care. Going to live in a home with other elderly people is a choice. Just like choosing a hospital for a treatment. In conclusion and in my view when older people choose to live in a home with others of similar age. The expense should be borne by the family as it was a choice.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Britain, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
may sometime
be borne
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. The debate arises about who should pay for the home, Whether it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that should pay for the expense.

On one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
already provides facilities like the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for the elders, Pension plans and social security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
among others. Though paying for long time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is desirable.
However
, it would strain the budget and availability of funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services, like education, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, security and infrastructures.
Moreover
, a person living in such a home is a choice and the criteria and expectation of the individual differs from a wide range. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
like pension plans, tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should save the money for long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
during the younger days.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should
be borne
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. As we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
like tax exempted retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
, High interest on retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
could
be taken
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
of the individual.
Also
, they could take an insurance for covering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. Going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like choosing a hospital for a treatment.

In conclusion
and in my view when older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a home with others of similar age. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
should
be borne
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as it was a choice.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay If a person to whom you know wants to move to your city. What you think that what will be his liking and disliking. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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