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practice7-q5M: Suzy, what’s going on? Why are you in such a hurry? W: [pressured for time] Oh, hey Tom. I’m sorry I don’t have much time to talk; I’m in a big rush. M: Do you need any help? W: You don’t have any home-cooked food with you right now, v.1

practice7-q5M: Suzy, what’s going on? Why are you in such a hurry? W: [pressured for time] Oh, hey Tom. I’m sorry I don’t have much time to talk; I’m in a big rush. M: Do you need any help? W: You don’t have any home-cooked food with you right now, v. 1
Many people think that children should take basic money values lessons in the classroom. I completely agree with this view and believe that basic skills related to finance plays an important role in the future life of children. Money issues have become an essential part of our life over recent years. Children should be taught how to manage a budget wisely in an earlier age in schools. Otherwise, those who have never been taught basic money values in elementary or primary school suffer from financial constraints when they become an adult. For example, economy experts say that some adults, which have a lesson which covers finance-related-topics have a knowledge of finance management whereas other lack of ability to manage cash issues. Therefore, the lesson how to handle budget should be a necessity in schools. Although the lesson would be very beneficial to pupils, some people may think that the lessons about financial issues are not the responsibility of schools. However, it is not a justified claim since children spend most of their time in educational institutions. For example, since early age, they can save money for educational goals and then have an opportunity to study at a top university. Moreover, schools can hire certificated experts or teachers which studied Economy. If those experts give economy lessons to children, they would have a greater knowledge of cash management when they have a student life as a university student, and become an adult or parents. In conclusion, cash management had not been an important topic in before consumerism arose in 1990s, but today, children had better acquire the ability of managing a budget by taking financial responsibility courses in schools. So, they can make logical decisions on finance-related-topics in future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should take basic money values
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
in the classroom.

I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and believe that basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
related to finance plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the future life of children.

Money issues have become an essential part of our life over recent years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should
be taught
how to manage a budget
wisely
in an earlier age in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Otherwise
, those who have never
been taught
basic money values in elementary or primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
suffer from financial constraints when they become an adult.
For example
, economy experts say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adults, which have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
which covers finance-related-topics have a knowledge of finance management whereas other lack of ability to manage cash issues.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
how to handle budget should be a necessity in schools.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to pupils,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
about financial issues are not the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
However
, it is not a justified claim since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their time in educational institutions.
For example
, since early age, they can save money for educational goals and then have an opportunity to study at a top university.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can hire certificated experts or teachers which studied Economy. If those experts give economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they would have a greater knowledge of cash management when they have a student life as a university student, and become an adult or parents.

In conclusion
, cash management had not been an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topic in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
consumerism arose
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990s".
in 1990s
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had better acquire the ability of managing a budget by taking financial responsibility courses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
logical decisions on finance-related-topics
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay practice7-q5M: Suzy, what’s going on? Why are you in such a hurry? W: [pressured for time] Oh, hey Tom. I’m sorry I don’t have much time to talk; I’m in a big rush. M: Do you need any help? W: You don’t have any home-cooked food with you right now, v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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