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Agree or disagree? In order to be financially responsible adults, children should be learned to manage their own money at a young age. v.1

Agree or disagree? In order to be financially responsible adults, children should be learned to manage their own money at a young age. v. 1
Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that if the children learn to handle their own expenses from their childhood, they would be financial responsible latter. Contrary to this popular belief, there are still those who argue that there is no relation between the adult' s financial responsibility and their experience in their past years. I, to a great extent, agree with the first group. In the following paragraphs I will explicate my reasons in details to buttress my position toward the argument. First and foremost, when the child has this chance for managing his money on his own, he learns that he could not spend it as he wish. For instance, when the parents paid their child specific amount of money each week. The child realizes that the money is for a week and there would be no money till the next week and he has to spend the money on the necessaries and rationally. Thus, form the childhood the child learns that they should have plan for spending the money. In the enducing years, he easily can manage his money when he is far away from his family for studying or working. However, if the person did not have this experience, he would have confront the financial problems and cannot easily handle his financial matters. Other substantial reason that could be taken under consideration is that they would have such a sense of independency. They learn that they should be financially independent either. Then, after a while they will work for earning their own money. When there are young they would work for the summer or have part-time job besides their colleges or universities’ courses. They would have different monetary experience that would really valuable for their future. Finally yet importantly, from the childhood they are taught about the importance of the investment. Certainly, the investment has main role in one' s financial attitudes and manners. The parents ask their children to gather their extra money in the little boxes and when it becomes full they could purchase whatever they like. This could be an impetus for the child to not waste his money. He learns that always there could be better way to spend his money. I remember my little daughter always told me, one chocolate is enough per day I would a beautiful doll later. That' s why she is really done well in her financial bills today. To recapitulate briefly, based on aforementioned reasons, I can draw this conclusion that the childhood could be a really suitable time for the children to have such kind of practice for their adulthood. They become familiar with the importance of the planning and investing the money and they would have become eligible and expert in their future work.
Nowadays, it is
commonly
accepted
that if the children
learn
to handle their
own
expenses from their childhood, they would be
financial
responsible latter. Contrary to this popular belief, there are
still
those who argue that there is no relation between the
adult&
#039; s
financial
responsibility and their experience in their past years. I, to a great extent,
agree
with the
first
group. In the following paragraphs I will explicate my reasons in
details
to buttress my position toward the argument.

First
and foremost, when the
child
has this chance for managing his
money
on his
own
, he
learns
that he could not spend it as he
wish
.
For instance
, when the parents paid their
child
specific amount of
money
each week. The
child
realizes that the
money
is for a week and there would be no
money
till the
next
week and
he
has to
spend the
money
on the necessaries and
rationally
.
Thus
, form the childhood the
child
learns
that they should have plan for spending the
money
. In the
enducing
years, he
easily
can manage his
money
when he is far away from his family for studying or working.
However
, if the person did not have this experience, he would have
confront
the
financial
problems and cannot
easily
handle his
financial
matters.

Other substantial reason that could
be taken
under consideration is that they would have such a sense of
independency
. They
learn
that they should be
financially
independent either. Then, after a while they will work for earning their
own
money
. When there are young they would work for the summer or have part-time
job
besides
their colleges or universities’ courses. They would have
different
monetary experience that would
really
valuable for their future.

Finally
yet
importantly
, from the childhood they
are taught
about the importance of the investment.
Certainly
, the investment has main role in
one&
#039; s
financial
attitudes and manners. The parents ask their children to gather their extra
money
in the
little
boxes and when it becomes full they could
purchase
whatever they like. This could be an impetus for the
child
to not waste his
money
. He
learns
that always there could be
better
way to spend his
money
. I remember my
little
daughter always
told
me, one chocolate is
enough
per day I would a
beautiful
doll later.
That&
#039; s why she is
really
done well in her
financial
bills
today
.

To recapitulate
briefly
, based on aforementioned reasons, I can draw this conclusion that the childhood could be a
really
suitable time for the children to have such kind of practice for their adulthood. They become familiar with the importance of the planning and investing the
money and
they would have become eligible and expert in their future work.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? In order to be financially responsible adults, children should be learned to manage their own money at a young age. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
458 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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