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People natural resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

People natural resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
The tourism industry plays a significant role to enhance the economy of the nation. But, because of the advancement in technology, an army of people believes that the cross-border tourism industry creates problems rather than understanding between people from different cultures. This essay will discuss why this industry helps the individual to learn about different cultures and did not create any kind of problem between peoples. To begin with, because of this industry, the foreigner can easily learn the culture of a particular nation. Many spectators come to a different country to cherish their players, and they meet the local peoples, who belong to a different region. Additionally, they learn things from them and also try local food and attire over there. For example, in the year 2010, to promote tourism, and to help local businesses, the Indian government, lower down the price of visas for the nation China and Japan. So, it helps to strengthen the bond between the two nations. Secondly, it is the biggest industry in the world, and it helps to boost the economy of the nation. No doubt, because of the language barrier, sometimes it's difficult for the local community to understand their language, and this may create conflicts between the two cultures. Moreover, sometimes foreigners also try to damage the historic building of the nation, where they visited, and this may create tension between the two. For instance, in the year 2005, in a World Cup match, the Indian audience damaged the stadium because India lost this match and this created problems between the two nations. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that, no doubt the Tourism industry is the biggest, but it also creates misunderstanding between the two nations. We can easily overcome this by taking suitable steps. So, I firmly agree with this notion.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
plays a significant role to enhance the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement in technology, an army of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes that the cross-border
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
problems
rather
than understanding between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. This essay will discuss why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the individual to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
any kind of problem between peoples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, the foreigner can
easily
learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
spectators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
country to cherish their players, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
peoples, who belong to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
region.
Additionally
, they learn things from them and
also
try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
food and attire over there.
For example
, in the year 2010, to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses, the Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, lower down the price of visas for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
China and Japan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to strengthen the bond between the two nations.

Secondly
, it is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in the world, and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to boost the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. No doubt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the language barrier,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it's difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community to understand their language, and this may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
conflicts between the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
foreigners
also
try to damage the historic building of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, where they visited, and this may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
tension between the two.
For instance
, in the year 2005, in a World Cup match, the Indian audience damaged the stadium
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
India lost this match and this created problems between the two nations.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that, no doubt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is the biggest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
misunderstanding between the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. We can
easily
overcome this by taking suitable steps.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay People natural resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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