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Agree or Disagree you the with the Do at The following Statement? Because at The World IS Changing SO Quickly, people are now less Happy or less satisfied the with Their Lives Within last people were at The Past in the Use specific examples and Reasons to v.3

Agree or Disagree you the with the Do at The following Statement? Because at The World IS Changing SO Quickly, people are now less Happy or less satisfied the with Their Lives Within last people were at The Past in the Use specific examples and Reasons to v. 3
No doubt or generation lives in a rapid technological progress which makes our world changes dramatically. Some people claim that this fast shifting makes our people unhappy and unsatisfied than our parents and our grandparents. In contrary, others disagree, they think this quick transformation in our society brings a lot of joy and fulfillment of one' s wishes. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the first position. I think even though this rapid progress is helpful in some ways. Still, people, these days are struggling with the pressure of the speedy lifestyle, the do not have the same free time for enjoying the beautiful life among their families. Also, this progress and improvements destroy the economy which in turn makes most of our generation unsatisfied with our jobs. Following is a brief interpretation from my perspective. First of all, our technological development brings several machines to our homes, cars, and industry. Such as laptops. , cell phones, and smart cars. They look neat and smart to create a comfortable lifestyle. However, are they bring the happiness for each person. Unfortunately, our daily life is very fast and competitive. Which in turns pressurizes our life and deprives the happiness. For example, People in the past do not have the Facebook technology of communicating. But, they had the time of visiting their friends or their parents. While, we do not have that free time. We work eight to ten hours daily, sometimes on the weekends. We miss our parents, but we do not have the free time to visit them. For example, I struggle every day to find the time for me to study and prepare myself for the Toefl exam, I am a working mother of two kids. The pressure of the speedy life forces me to feel guilty against myself. I always put my job, my household requirements, my kids, and my husband as priority against my studying; therefore, no happiness and no self-satisfaction. Second, as I mentioned above, we do not have the free time for ourselves. We live in a world rich with many scenic views and places of enjoyment. Unfortunately, our busy lifestyle abundant us from that enjoyment. A good example for that when I compare my parent' s daily life with mine as a mother of two children, I feel our 24 hours of daily life is shorter than them. I struggle among my working ours and being a devoted mother in my house. Moreover, this rapid pace makes me incapable of sharing the enjoyment of playing in the park with my kids or sharing them their school activities. Last but not the least, this rapid progress in our generation creates a great economic depression which makes the opportunity of finding an employment position or keep that position very hard. These days our young generation are finding themselves working jobs they dislike, but they have to work for a living. Furthermore, our daily expenses are very high. For instance, when the machine or the computer device interact with our jobs. Each company wants from their employees to be fast enough and multitaskers to work long hours alone. At the same time, they have to be satisfied and happy with their minimum wages. Do you think our generation still happy as our parent' s generation? I doubt it. Based on the factors I discussed above, I strongly agree with that this rapid improvement in our generation comes as a curse that makes our people unable to enjoy their daily life, our share their families a beautiful satisfied time and work jobs with a lot of pressure.
No doubt or generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
shifting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unhappy and
Use "(unsatisfied)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
unsatisfied
than our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and our grandparents. In contrary, others disagree, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this quick transformation in our society brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
joy and fulfillment of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s wishes. As far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
position. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
even though
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Still
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, these days are struggling with the pressure of the speedy lifestyle,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'do' is correct. If 'do' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the do
not have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for enjoying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
among their families.
Also
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
and improvements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the economy which in turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
most of our generation unsatisfied with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Following is a brief interpretation from my perspective.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, our technological development brings several machines to our homes, cars, and industry. Such as laptops.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
cell phones, and smart cars. They look neat and smart to create a comfortable lifestyle.
However
, are they bring the happiness for each person. Unfortunately, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and competitive. Which in turns pressurizes our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and deprives the happiness.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in the past do not have the Facebook technology of communicating.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of visiting their friends or their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, we do not have that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
eight to ten hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
on the weekends. We miss our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to visit them.
For example
, I struggle every day to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for me to study and prepare myself for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Toefl
exam, I am a working mother of two kids. The pressure of the speedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
forces me to feel guilty against myself. I always put my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, my household requirements, my kids, and my husband as priority against my studying;
therefore
, no happiness and no self-satisfaction.

Second, as I mentioned above, we do not have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for ourselves. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world rich with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scenic views and places of enjoyment. Unfortunately, our busy lifestyle abundant us from that enjoyment. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for that when I compare my
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with mine as a mother of two children, I feel our 24 hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is shorter than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
them
. I struggle among my working ours and being a devoted mother in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
pace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me incapable of sharing the enjoyment of playing in the park with my kids or sharing them their school activities.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in our generation creates a great economic depression which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the opportunity of finding an employment position or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
that position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. These days our young generation are finding themselves working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they dislike,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a living.
Furthermore
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
expenses are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
For instance
, when the machine or the computer device interact with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
wants from their employees to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
multitaskers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long hours alone. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be satisfied
and happy with their minimum wages. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
our generation
still
happy as our
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s generation? I doubt it.

Based on the factors I discussed above, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
improvement in our generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as a curse that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unable to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, our share their families a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or Disagree you the with the Do at The following Statement? Because at The World IS Changing SO Quickly, people are now less Happy or less satisfied the with Their Lives Within last people were at The Past in the Use specific examples and Reasons to v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
602 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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