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Agree or disagree, the most important thing for the governments to improve healthcare is to clean the environment. v.1

Agree or disagree, the most important thing for the governments to improve healthcare is to clean the environment. v. 1
There is no doubt that the must punished against crime. While some people are the opinion that the penalty of the die should never be used. Others argue that it should be permitted for most serious Corruption. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides of the argument and I will explain my opinion for the latter view. Firstly, talk about some people who assume that death warrant should not be involved as a punishment. Unless the death sentence should apply, criminality is increased by dangerous criminal who have no fear. Because of such an idea terrorist thinks to master plan to distress the people. For example, for the past several years spread the crimes of rape which is not a corruption but a sin. There are rapiest have no any fear about their crime in order to not give an extreme penalty to them. Therefore, day to day the number of the rapiest and criminals are increasing. On the other hand, there are some people believe that capital punishment should be legalized for the critical offence. Such as rapiest, dangerous criminal, terrorist etc. To whom must punish as a judicial murder. For example, to justice for innocent victims, the system must be applied discipline warrant. In addition, the terrorist who tries to destroy the whole country in which many innocent people die. To illustrate, name of terrorist is Ajmal Kasab, who attacks in Mumbai. So that forfeiture of the deaths to him. After all, giving discipline sentence to dangerous criminal that is human rights. In conclusion, despite the criminals agree to their crimes, for victims must be spreading capital punishment to them. It is most necessary for the justice. Personally, I feel that is most needed and an important rule.
There is no doubt that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
punished against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the opinion that the penalty of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
should never be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. Others argue that it should
be permitted
for most serious Corruption. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides of the argument and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opinion for the latter view.

Firstly
, talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
assume that death warrant should not
be involved
as a punishment. Unless the death sentence should apply, criminality
is increased
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no fear.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
to master plan to distress the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, for the past several years spread the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
of rape which is not a corruption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a sin. There are
Possible spelling mistake found.
rapiest
have
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any fear about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in order to not give an extreme penalty to them.
Therefore
, day to day the number of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
rapiest
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are increasing.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that capital punishment should
be legalized
for the critical
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
. Such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
rapiest
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
etc. To whom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
punish as a judicial murder.
For example
, to justice for innocent victims, the system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be applied
discipline warrant.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the whole country in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. To illustrate, name of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ajmal
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kasab
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attacks in Mumbai.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
forfeiture of the deaths to him.
After all
, giving discipline sentence to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
that is
human rights.

In conclusion
, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, for victims
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be spreading capital punishment to them. It is most necessary for the justice.
Personally
, I feel
that is
most needed and an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree, the most important thing for the governments to improve healthcare is to clean the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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