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Some new employees have just joined your company to gain work experience. Write a letter to them and say– What work do you do? – What will they be doing on their first day at work? – What should a person bring along on the first day? v.1

Some new employees have just joined your company to gain work experience. Write a letter to them and say– What work do you do? – What will they be doing on their first day at work? – What should a person bring along on the first day? v. 1
Although it is sometimes thought that the key to staying healthy is to do work out regularly, other people believe that the focus should be on a balanced diet. In my opinion, I consider that regular exercise is essential in maintaining a healthy body. On the one hand, some people think that exercise burns calories often help to build healthy lifestyles and I agree. In other words, the workout motivates to excel in their work or daily tasks which, consequently, produces better energy levels and strength. For example, doctors advice, exercising at least three times a week for 20 minutes that will reduce work stress, as a result, the brain activates as it strengthens professional life. Furthermore, being fit to achieve the best is vital to succeeding in a healthy lifestyle, as adults, they must regulate physical fitness against other humans. On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if the emphasis on health is on a balanced diet with others. As peoples, well-being is reduced with poor-diet, so it's expensive to be unhealthy, provided that most of the time it is seen, many workers rely on fast food as it causes obesity. So that to improve health, exercising is the only factor which eradicates bad habits from a sedentary life. Another reason why a balanced diet is useful for a human is in the past, people used to walk for certain kilometers to reach the destination. This made people stay active in their jobs and at home. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that regular exercise is the crucial source to succeed the lengthen life if it is a part of our daily routine.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the key to staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is to do work out
regularly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the focus should be on a balanced diet. In my opinion, I consider that regular exercise is essential in maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that exercise burns calories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyles and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the workout motivates to excel in their work or daily tasks which,
consequently
, produces better energy levels and strength.
For example
, doctors advice, exercising at least three times a week for 20 minutes that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
as a result
, the brain activates as it strengthens professional life.
Furthermore
,
being fit
to achieve the best is vital to succeeding in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle, as adults, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
regulate physical fitness against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
humans.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that it is better if the emphasis on health is on a balanced diet with others. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
, well-being is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
with poor-diet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's expensive to be unhealthy, provided that most of the time it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food as it causes obesity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health, exercising is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor which eradicates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits from a sedentary life. Another reason why a balanced diet is useful for a human is in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to walk for certain kilometers to reach the destination. This made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay active in their jobs and at home.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that regular exercise is the crucial source to succeed
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'lengthen' is correct. If 'lengthen' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the lengthen
life if it is a part of our daily routine.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some new employees have just joined your company to gain work experience. Write a letter to them and say– What work do you do? – What will they be doing on their first day at work? – What should a person bring along on the first day? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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