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Which one do you think has the greatest impact on protecting the environment? Government regulation, organizations, or individual efforts. v.1

Which one do you think has the greatest impact on protecting the environment? Government regulation, organizations, or individual efforts. v. 1
Recently, overwork is becoming increasingly alarming in many nations. This essay looks at some of the reasons in society and suggests some solutions to the problems. At the outset, excessive work causes multiple problems, and there are two credible reasons. The first point to consider is that the more individual work, the more chances of success that they are likely to have. People all want to have a higher salary and promotion, and the trend has been accelerated in the modern era of capitalism. The second reason is that some people cannot manage life and work balance well as they put an enormous amount of effort into their job if they love what they do. A good illustration of this is that an artist who working in Disney puts his all time into his dream project, and he, eventually, might lose health and private time. However, the menace of working excess can be fought. Education is the main way to tackle the issue. People need to be aware of the effects so that they can avoid this problem. Companies could also offer an additional break in their staff’s daily schedule with a gym membership which must be used during that daily break. This is a good approach because they can appeal to all employees about the importance of doing a regular exercise. In conclusion, excessive work is a serious issue because employees put their passion into work to achieve success, losing their personal life. The best approaches to deal with it are to educate workers about its damaging effects and for companies to give all staff through an extra break with a free gym membership. Given this situation, it is recommended for employees to be aware of the importance of having work-life balance.
Recently, overwork is becoming
increasingly
alarming in
many
nations. This essay looks at
some of the
reasons in society and suggests
some
solutions to the problems.

At the outset, excessive
work
causes multiple problems, and there are two credible reasons. The
first
point to consider is that the more individual
work
, the more chances of success that they are likely to have.
People
all want to have a higher salary and promotion, and the trend has
been accelerated
in the modern era of capitalism. The second reason is that
some
people
cannot manage life and
work
balance well as they put an enormous amount of effort into their job if they
love
what they do. A
good
illustration of this is that an artist who working in Disney puts his
all time
into his dream project, and he,
eventually
, might lose health and private time.

However
, the menace of working excess can
be fought
. Education is the main way to tackle the issue.
People
need to be aware of the effects
so
that they can avoid this problem.
Companies
could
also
offer an additional break in their staff’s daily schedule with a gym membership which
must
be
used
during that daily break. This is a
good
approach
because
they can appeal to all employees about the importance of doing a regular exercise.

In conclusion
, excessive
work
is a serious issue
because
employees put their passion into
work
to achieve success, losing their personal life. The best approaches to deal with it are to educate workers about its damaging effects and for
companies
to give all staff through an extra break with a free gym membership.
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
for employees to be aware of the importance of having work-life balance.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Which one do you think has the greatest impact on protecting the environment? Government regulation, organizations, or individual efforts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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