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Agree or disagree: In order to success in study or job，the ability to adapt or adjust to a changing condition or circumstance is more important than having excellent knowledge of a job or in a field of study. v.2

Agree or disagree: In order to success in study or job，the ability to adapt or adjust to a changing condition or circumstance is more important than having excellent knowledge of a job or in a field of study. v. 2
Being successful is always desirable for everyone, but what is the key to success? Some people claim that being able to adapt to the different environment offers more advantage than having more knowledge in a certain field, while others hold the opposite opinion. From my perspective, the ability to fit in the different environment is more important for everybody who wants to be successful. Admittedly, owning deeply understanding of one' s working field does be necessary to be success, but we can hardly to say that we have learned enough knowledge to be successful. In the competitive society, people today have to deal with enormous number of knowledge, which are renewed every, thus, there will still be many information we can not grasp in time, no matter how hard we work or study. However, we still can be successful, because what we need to learn is the knowledge that will be necessary or useful in our own environment. For example, a student who majors in physics seems have to learn everything about physics, which is impossible. If he decides to become a engineer after graduation, he need to learn about how to put the knowledge of physics into practice, and do not have to bother himself to learn more advanced theories in physics. So, although knowledge is necessary is important for ourselves, knowing what we really need to grasp offers more possibilities to be successful. Our society are changing now and will change in the future, thus, we have to fit in it and more importantly learn from it. Myself here is a good point in case. When I was in college, my classmates and I were asked by my teacher to attend a internship in a oil company, because my major is petroleum engineering. When I entered into the oil field, to my surprise, I found that all the knowledge we have learned in the class seem to no use. The workers in the field have become robots, and what the workers in the field have to do is to operate the computer software. During that internship period, I adapt myself to the real working environment quickly, and learned a lot of advanced knowledge in the oil company. Later, when I trying to find the job, this experience and the knowledge I learned from it have helped me a lot. So, learning from the vary environment have become more and more important. In a word, the ability to adapt to a changing environment offers us more advantages than the knowledge does.
Being successful is always desirable for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what is the key to success?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that being able to adapt to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
offers more advantage than having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, while others hold the opposite opinion. From my perspective, the ability to fit in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everybody who wants to be successful.

Admittedly
, owning
deeply
understanding of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
does be necessary to be success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can hardly to say that we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to be successful. In the competitive society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with enormous number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, which
are renewed
every,
thus
, there will
still
be
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
many information
we can not grasp in time, no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
we work or study.
However
, we
still
can be successful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
what we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that will be necessary or useful in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For example
, a student who majors in physics seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
everything about physics, which is impossible. If he decides to become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
engineer after graduation, he need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about how to put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of physics into practice, and do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bother himself to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more advanced theories in physics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is necessary is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for ourselves, knowing what we
really
need to grasp offers more possibilities to be successful.

Our society are changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future,
thus
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fit in it and more
importantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from it. Myself here is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
point in case. When I was in college, my classmates and I
were asked
by my teacher to attend
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
internship in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my major is petroleum engineering. When I entered into the oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, to my surprise, I found that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
seem to no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. The workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
have become robots, and what the workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do is to operate the computer software. During that internship period, I adapt myself to the real working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
quickly
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in the oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Later, when
Did you mean "I'm trying", "I am trying", or "I was trying"?
I trying
to find the job, this experience and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learned
from it have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me a lot.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, learning from
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'vary' is correct. If 'vary' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the vary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
have become more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In a word, the ability to adapt to a changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
offers us more advantages than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
does.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Agree or disagree: In order to success in study or job，the ability to adapt or adjust to a changing condition or circumstance is more important than having excellent knowledge of a job or in a field of study. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
422 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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