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TPO32Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v.5

TPO32 Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v. 5
Throughout history enhancing living standards has played a prominent role in people' s lives in order to brings them life satisfaction. Humans constantly have attempted to improve lifestyle in all aspects. Some people may hold the view that people were satisfied more in the past than now. However, others people take an opposite point and believe that world is changing in a positive way that people find happiness more than before. From my vantage point, I concur with the latter group. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my viewpoints based on three main reasons. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that with the dawn of internet which is the result of modern world, people feel the spatial and temporal distances less than before. In fact, one of the most important milestones of recent decades is the advent of internet which has broadened our communication systems. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my own experience. I have a brother who lives in abroad. We can talk with each other via the internet whenever we need. On the other hand, my grandfather never had the chance to talk with his brother due to the lack of telecommunication system at that time. As a result, technology eases our life in a way to be in touch with each other frequently. Another reason which deserves some words here is that with the changes of the world, the health care has changed dramatically which improves quality of our lives. For instance, many people in the past suffered from mental disorders and physical diseases that never had cured during their lives. In addition, their death has adverse effects on their families and ones they had close relations to. In contrast, the world of medicine has cured many of those diseases and provides a better world for those who have patient at their families. Although the aforementioned reasons are the first ones which cross the mind at first glance, they are by no means the only reasons available. In fact, there is another subtle point which must be borne in mind. A noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics revealed by a social research study in our country published in Tehran news show that young people are more satisfied compared to people who spend their youth years two decades ago. The study was done by distributing a questionnaire among 50 families which have three generations. The results indicate that old people see lives of the youths without difficulties they had faced to. To wrap it up, contemplating all aforementioned reasons one soon realizes that people are inclined toward the changes in the world that brings them more happiness and enjoyable life. Both subjective ideas and statistics acknowledge the mentioned statement and disclose that the way the world is going is the right way to increase life satisfaction.
Throughout history enhancing living standards has played a prominent role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in order to
Did you mean "bring"?
brings
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
satisfaction. Humans
constantly
have attempted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
lifestyle in all aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were satisfied
more in the past than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
However
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take an opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is changing in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find happiness more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. From my vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, I concur with the latter group. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my viewpoints based on three main reasons.

The
first
exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
to
be mentioned
is that with the dawn of internet which is the result of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel the spatial and temporal distances less than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In fact, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
milestones of recent decades is the advent of internet which has broadened our communication systems. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on the subject is my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. I have a brother who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in abroad. We can talk with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
via the internet whenever we need. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, my grandfather never had the chance to talk with his brother due to the lack of telecommunication system at that time.
As a result
, technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a way to be in touch with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
frequently
.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words here is that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the health care has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
quality of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past suffered from mental disorders and physical diseases that never had cured during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
In addition
, their death has adverse effects on their families and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
they had close relations to.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of medicine has cured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of those diseases and provides a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
for those who have patient at their families.

Although the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
which cross the mind at
first
glance, they are by no means the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
available. In fact, there is another subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be borne
in mind. A noteworthy
refreshingly
intelligible statistics revealed by a social research study in our country published in Tehran news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more satisfied compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend their youth years two decades ago. The study
was done
by distributing a questionnaire among 50 families which have three generations. The results indicate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of the youths without difficulties they had faced to.

To wrap it up, contemplating all aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realizes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that brings them more happiness and enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Both subjective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and statistics acknowledge the mentioned statement and disclose that the way the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is going is the right way to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
satisfaction.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay TPO32 Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
478 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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