Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to succeed in doing a new job, the ability to adapt oneself to the new environment is more important than the excellent knowledge of this job. v.192

In order to succeed in doing a new job, the ability to adapt oneself to the new environment is more important than the excellent knowledge of this job. v. 192
Immigration is becoming increasingly popular these days. A large amount of the population prefers to travel overseas and also are enthusiastic to shift their abode to a foreign country. This essay will address the scope of this situation and also highlight the advantages and disadvantages pertaining to the same. Firstly, allowing people to move freely around the world is a basic human right. By this I mean, people should have the liberty to explore different geographical boundaries. Moreover, while people immigrate to a host nation, it is beneficial to them as well as the government of the host state. This is because a majority of people earn more compared to their home country despite paying a large proportion of their income as tax. To illustrate, The Times reported that, Canadian federation has witnessed 50% growth in their revenue compared to the last year and the reason for this was the Refugee Federal Program that they organised last year. Indeed, it is a win-win situation for both the parties. However, there are also limitations associated with this situation. People tend to miss culture and tradition pertaining to their motherland. This is because they are miles apart during festival seasons, which provide an opportunity to enjoy and meet dear ones. In addition, in some regions, the local inhabitants may isolate people from different race as they feel that the guests are inferior to them. Such bias may indeed result in an adverse situation as the victim's moral may hurt. South Africans, for example, are not treated with respect in various parts of the world due to their colour. Hence, if an individual decides to migrate, they may have to face such consequences. To conclude, although it is risky for people to travel or live in international places, it also has great benefits. I believe that there should be no hindrances caused by the demographic or authorities for this.
Immigration is becoming
increasingly
popular these days. A large amount of the population prefers to travel overseas and
also
are enthusiastic to shift their abode to a foreign country. This essay will address the scope of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
also
highlight the advantages and disadvantages pertaining to the same.

Firstly
, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
around the world is a basic human right. By this I mean,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the liberty to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
geographical boundaries.
Moreover
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrate to a host nation, it is beneficial to them
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the host state. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn more compared to their home country despite paying a large proportion of their income as tax. To illustrate, The Times reported that, Canadian federation has witnessed 50% growth in their revenue compared to the last year and the reason for this was the Refugee Federal Program that they
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
last year.
Indeed
, it is a win-win
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
for both the parties.

However
, there are
also
limitations associated with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to miss culture and tradition pertaining to their motherland. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are miles apart during festival seasons, which provide an opportunity to enjoy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
dear ones.
In addition
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions, the local inhabitants may isolate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
race as they feel that the guests are inferior to them. Such bias may
indeed
result in an adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
as the victim's moral may hurt. South Africans,
for example
, are not treated with respect in various parts of the world due to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
.
Hence
, if an individual decides to migrate, they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face such consequences.

To conclude
, although it is risky for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in international places, it
also
has great benefits. I believe that there should be no hindrances caused by the demographic or authorities for this.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay In order to succeed in doing a new job, the ability to adapt oneself to the new environment is more important than the excellent knowledge of this job. v. 192

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts