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Agree or disagree: It is as important for old people to study and learn new things as it is for young people. v.2

Agree or disagree: It is as important for old people to study and learn new things as it is for young people. v. 2
The science and technology, in many ways, has shaped the world we live in and continues to bring new things to our daily lives. Nowadays, some people consider it important for aged people to learn new things like young people do. I, however, think it an exaggeration. Old people should have different strategies when facing different situations, and it is impossible and not necessary to learn the same new things as young people do. The technology continues to bring updated and renewed knowledge to our lives, which are necessary for young people to gain opportunities to get promoted, but these chance is not important and necessary for aged people. Old people no longer work at office any more, and what they really want to do after retirement is to enjoy their leisure with family members or old friends. Preparing food for their children and grandchildren, going vacation with old friends, or cultivating flowers at their gardens are their favorites. Since they have little ambition for their careers, they have no need to bother themselves to learning those new knowledge. Thus, new professional and specific things is less important and there are many other things deserving to do for the old. On the contrary, learning practical skills in this modern society could make old people' s live much easier. The Internet have made our life much more convenient than before, allowing us to shop or chat with each other no matter wherever we are. My grandfather here is a good case in point. Although nearly 75 years old, he is still able to use smart phones, to surf on the Internet, and he even goes shopping online more frequently than my father does. He always tells me that he never image that our live could become so convenient and he have to learn these skills to keep pace with the society, if not, he is unlikely enjoy the advantages that technology has brought to us. Even if it seems that we should keep pace with the changes of our society, but for aged people, the situation would be different. Skills, which contributes to our convenient life style, are necessary to be grasped to enjoy the modern life, but there is no need for them to " waste" their time on specific and professional knowledge and skills.
The science and technology, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, has shaped the world we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in and continues to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things to our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things like young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do. I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it an exaggeration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies when facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations, and it is impossible and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
to learn the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things as young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.

The technology continues to bring updated and renewed knowledge to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these chance is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
for aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer work at office
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
, and what they
really
want to do after retirement is to enjoy their leisure with family members or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
friends. Preparing food for their children and grandchildren, going vacation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
friends, or cultivating flowers at their gardens are their favorites. Since they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ambition for their careers, they have no need to bother themselves to learning those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
knowledge.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
professional and specific things is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things deserving to do for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

On the contrary
, learning practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in this modern society could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
much easier. The Internet have made our life much more convenient than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, allowing us to shop or chat with each other no matter wherever we are. My grandfather here is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in point. Although
nearly
75 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, he is
still
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart phones, to surf on the Internet, and he even goes shopping online more
frequently
than my father does. He always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
me that he never image that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
could become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
convenient and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to learn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the society, if not, he is unlikely enjoy the advantages that technology has brought to us.

Even if it seems that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the situation would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Skills
, which contributes to our convenient life style, are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
to
be grasped
to enjoy the modern life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no need for them to
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
waste&quot
; their time on specific and professional knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Agree or disagree: It is as important for old people to study and learn new things as it is for young people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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