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Agree or disagree: In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. v.1

Agree or disagree: In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. v. 1
It is argued that in some nations, the states give priority to economic growth as compared to the other concerns. While the main advantage of this approach is better living standards, I believe that it can affect health and education for the general public. The primary advantage of prioritizing economic growth is that it can improve living standards and reduce the poverty rate. In other words, high average incomes enable consumers to enjoy more goods and services and a better lifestyle. This means that people will have more income that will eventually reduce the poverty rate. For example, a recent report published by BBC suggested that economic growth in the twentieth century was a major factor in reducing absolute levels of poverty and enabling a rise in life expectancy. Despite this, I think that the government should also take care of the health of people and provide them the best education services. The major drawback of this approach is that it can affect health services and education facilities for the citizens of the country because they are not prioritized. That is to say that public services will not get adequate funds to spend on improving health care facilities and education services for the citizens. As a result, it will lower the literacy rate and people will encounter with diseases. For instance, according to a recent survey by the Guardian the countries like China that give more importance to economic growth, 35% of the people from these countries are suffering from serious health issues. In conclusion, although prioritizing economic growth is beneficial because it increases the living standards and reduces the poverty rate, I believe that poor health facilities and education are a major drawback.
It
is argued
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, the states give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
as compared to the other concerns. While the main advantage of this approach is better living standards, I believe that it can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

The primary advantage of prioritizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
living standards and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
In other words
, high average incomes enable consumers to enjoy more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and a better lifestyle. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have more income that will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
For example
, a recent report published by BBC suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the twentieth century was a major factor in reducing absolute levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and enabling a rise in life expectancy. Despite this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and provide them the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
services.

The major drawback of this approach is that it can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities for the citizens of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not prioritized.
That is
to say that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adequate funds to spend on improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for the citizens.
As a result
, it will lower the literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will encounter with diseases.
For instance
, according to a recent survey by the Guardian the countries like China that give more importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
, 35% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from these countries are suffering from serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.

In conclusion
, although prioritizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it increases the living standards and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, I believe that poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are a major drawback.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Agree or disagree: In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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