Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. v.442

In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. v. 442
In modern society, staying up-to-date is very important in order to succeed. Due to intense competition between people in various fields, people are inclined to read more about the current events. The more we know, the more we would be successful. Some insightful individuals agree that one must get information from many distinct sources in order to be well-informed; some others, however, disagree. In my perspective, I agree with the statement based on the following reasons. First and foremost, we should read the new from various sources because of censorship. In some countries, the government does not allow people to publish the truth or some details about an event. For example, in my country, only the positive and advantageous information are allowed to be published. We never see anything about governmental issues and negative facts. As a result, we can evaluate the reliability of information buy looking at other sources. Second, by checking various news sources, we can look at current events from different viewpoints. Owing to complexity of some issues, they can be interpreted in distinct ways; hence, one can be well-informed by analyzing distinct viewpoints about a particular issue in the news. Finally yet importantly, the information in the news can be exaggerated in order to reach a certain goal. For instance, they might give a report about the economic status of the country so that people think the prices of lands would be decreases. Consequently, many people might be persuaded to buy some pieces of lands, and some treacherous businesspersons could make a substantial profit by selling their lands. In summary, getting information from several sources can assist us to distinguish truth from untruth, and avoid being tricked by others. All in all, although some insightful people might disagree with the statement, I reiterate that getting more information from various sources has some major advantages, as I discussed in the body paragraphs.
In modern society, staying up-to-date is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to succeed. Due to intense competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
to read more about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. The more we know, the more we would be successful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
insightful individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
in order to be well-informed;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others,
however
, disagree. In my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement based on the following reasons.

First
and foremost, we should read the new from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of censorship. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to publish the truth or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
For example
, in my country,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and advantageous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
be published
. We never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
anything about governmental issues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
facts.
As a result
, we can evaluate the reliability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Did you mean "by"?
buy
looking at other sources.

Second, by checking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, we can look at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoints. Owing to complexity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues, they can
be interpreted
in distinct ways;
hence
, one can be well-informed by analyzing distinct viewpoints about a particular issue in the news.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
yet
importantly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the news can
be exaggerated
in order to reach a certain goal.
For instance
, they might give a report about the economic status of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the prices of lands would be decreases.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
be persuaded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pieces of lands, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
treacherous businesspersons could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a substantial profit by selling their lands. In summary, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can assist us to distinguish truth from untruth, and avoid
being tricked
by others.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insightful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might disagree with the statement, I reiterate that getting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major advantages, as I discussed in the body paragraphs.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. v. 442

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts