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After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. to what extent do you agree WITH THIS STATEMENT? v.1

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. v. 1
Many people hold the view that the salary is what matters the most when choosing a career. Others opine that passion is the most important is the career choice. Personally, I think that job satisfaction is more important than well –paid job, considering that doing a desirable profession Is the key to accomplishment and that passion makes happy. First of all, success requires passion so as long as one effectuate a desirable job, he would be unlike to succeed in it. Nevertheless, passion doesn't pay at the beginning, it’s finally readable. Since, it Fuel perseverance and aspires personal development which leads to the favourable outcome, . For example, I remember when have turned my passion to again, pain and opened “4seasons restaurant “I used to start to endeavour very late and slept only 2 hours per day, in spite of the fact that It was very tiring but I really enjoyed it and now it’s one of the most famous restaurants in my city, that was to say that passion is pivotal to success. Secondly, passion makes happy, in fact, in the average people pass more than 80. 000 in the job place in a lifetime, furthermore, doing a passionate task may not just make us joyful in professional life but also in personal life. And that's because it will add a taste and a purpose to life, to illustrate, my brother used to the activity For the money, but he was very miserable, one day he decided to switch off his occupation Into a passionate one, now he feels better and even his mood had changed toward his family To summarize, it is very important to choose a passionate walk of life Over one with best salary. And that is because when we have a heart is something it is driven to make the most money, success and welfare.
Many
people
hold the view that the salary is what matters the most when choosing a career. Others opine that
passion
is the most
important
is the career choice.
Personally
, I
think
that
job
satisfaction is more
important
than well –paid
job
, considering that doing a desirable profession

Is the key to accomplishment and that
passion
makes
happy.

First of all
, success requires
passion
so
as long as one effectuate a desirable
job
, he would be unlike to succeed in it.
Nevertheless
,
passion
doesn't pay at the beginning, it’s
finally
readable. Since, it

Fuel perseverance and aspires personal development which leads to the
favourable
outcome
, .
For example
, I remember when have turned my
passion
to again, pain and opened “4seasons restaurant “I
used
to
start
to
endeavour
very
late and slept
only
2 hours per day,
in spite of
the fact
that


It was
very
tiring
but
I
really
enjoyed it and
now
it’s one of the most
famous
restaurants in my city, that was to say that
passion
is pivotal to success.

Secondly
,
passion
makes
happy, in fact, in the average
people
pass more than 80. 000 in the
job
place in a lifetime,
furthermore
, doing a passionate task may not
just
make
us joyful in professional life
but
also
in personal life. And that's
because
it will
add
a taste and a purpose to life, to illustrate, my brother
used
to the
activity


For the money,
but
he was
very
miserable, one day he decided to switch off his occupation

Into a passionate one,
now
he feels better and even his mood had
changed
toward his family

To summarize
, it is
very
important
to choose a passionate walk of life

Over one
with best
salary. And
that is
because
when we have a heart is something it
is driven
to
make
the most money, success and welfare.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. v. 1

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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