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advertising is influencing people more and more. is this a positive or a negative trend? v.2

advertising is influencing people more and more. is this a positive or a negative trend? v. 2
It is a known fact that most of our decisions these days are based on the advertisements we see. I strongly feel, it is more bad that good. It is definitely a negative trend that has dangerous implications Firstly, not everything said in an advertising is true. Even though, laws exist to ensure that advertisements are right and ethical, marketers always find a loophole in it. For example, a lot of fairness cream ads claim to make you fair but it is scientifically proven that melanin once in your skin, cannot be removed and technically you can't get considerable fairness. A lot of products use these factually incorrect claims to lure users and people fall prey to it, all the time In addition, from lying, advertising is a money driven process. Which means, an advertiser with the most money gets the most space and time. This makes the competition unfair and consumers are not exposed to the financially weaker products. Another example would be an organization like Amazon can take up an entire page in the newspaper, whereas smaller retailers can't afford it, even if they have better products and offers. To summarise, cash-driven monopolistic approach doesn't let the market stay fair. In conclusion, lack of ethics and fairness are the two major attributes of advertising. Thereby, making the trend of being inspired by those, a negative one.
It is a known fact that most of our decisions these days
are based
on the advertisements we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. I
strongly
feel, it is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. It is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
implications


Firstly
, not everything said in an advertising is true.
Even though
, laws exist to ensure that advertisements are right and ethical, marketers always find a loophole in it.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fairness cream ads claim to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
scientifically
proven that melanin once in your skin, cannot
be removed
and
technically
you can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
considerable fairness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
factually
incorrect claims to lure users and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fall prey to it, all the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
time


In addition
, from lying, advertising is a money driven process. Which means, an advertiser with the most money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the most space and time. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the competition unfair and consumers are not exposed to the
financially
weaker products. Another example would be an organization like Amazon can take up an entire page in the newspaper, whereas smaller retailers can't afford it, even if they have better products and offers. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, cash-driven monopolistic approach doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the market stay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
.

In conclusion
, lack of ethics and fairness are the two major attributes of advertising. Thereby, making the trend of
being inspired
by those, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay advertising is influencing people more and more. is this a positive or a negative trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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