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Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s lives. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. v.2

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s lives. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is a negative one. v. 2
These days, we all are surrounded by electronic devices and thus we are subjected to advertisements. These ads are designed logically to target specific audiences and these have severe effects on our mental health and alters our psychology unknowingly. In this essay, I will examine the effects of advertisements on human kind. On one hand, relevant ads are helpful as they show the product which is required. It is often the case that we try to purchase stuff online, but we are unable to find the right item and eventually we don't buy, while google monitors our search and shows us relevant ads which sometimes shows the product we needed. For example, I was looking for a hot wheel toy for my nephew but it was difficult to find the one he needed, suddenly a poster shows up and that's what exactly I wanted. Moreover, it provided me the way to get discounts on the same product. On the other hand, advertisements are misleading and forces us to buy a specific merchandise. In other words, we tend to buy items which are not essential and are just luxury brand, these are often highly priced. The constant advertisement makes us irritated, some ads don't have any relevance to our needs, they are just there because the people paid money to show the advertisement. For instance, in my browser, I was shown sports advertisements which have no connection with me at all. Further, same ad was repeated multiple times on my laptop which made me feel exhausted and unhappy. In conclusion, advertisement is one of the main sources of income for digital platforms. So, they have no other way but to adapt to the industry. Advertisement lure people to buy unnecessary items and on the contrary, it helps to find the right item. Advertisement have both demerits and merits, but I think it's disadvantage outweigh it's advantage.
These days, we all
are surrounded
by electronic devices and
thus
we
are subjected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. These ads
are designed
logically
to target specific audiences and these have severe effects on our mental health and alters our psychology
unknowingly
. In this essay, I will examine the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on human kind.

On one hand, relevant ads are helpful as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the product which
is required
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case that we try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
stuff online,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are unable to find the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
and
eventually
we don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
, while google monitors our search and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
us relevant ads which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the product we needed.
For example
, I was looking for a hot wheel toy for my nephew
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was difficult to find the one he needed,
suddenly
a poster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
up and that's what exactly I wanted.
Moreover
, it provided me the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
discounts on the same product.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are misleading and forces us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a specific merchandise.
In other words
, we tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which are not essential and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
luxury brand, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
highly
priced. The constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us irritated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ads don't have any relevance to our needs, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
paid money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
For instance
, in my browser, I
was shown
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which have no connection with me at all.
Further
, same ad
was repeated
multiple times on my laptop which made me feel exhausted and unhappy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is one of the main sources of income for digital platforms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they have no other way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to adapt to the industry.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
lure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and
on the contrary
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to find the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
both demerits and merits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's disadvantage outweigh
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
advantage.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s lives. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is a negative one. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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