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Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our daily lives while others say it is negative one. Discuss both views and include your opinion. v.1

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our daily lives while others say it is negative one. v. 1
The promotion of different products is becoming common day by day. There are different viewpoints in people regarding advertisements. Some have positive views while others have negative. I personally think that the publicity of different types of products has negatively affected our society. According to a few people, the promotion of different products has positive effects. This is due to the following reasons. Firstly, flyers from different stores tell you about the products available on offer. You can easily decide where to buy a particular item. In addition to that, we can have information about any new products on the market. Thus, with this publicity, the public becomes aware of any special offer and the latest things in the city. Contrary to that, advertising companies have also negatively affected our society. Although they inform you about the latest items, they are actually leaving an impression on our subconscious. Those who even don't need a particular item buy it because of the attractive promoting way of the companies. Thus a lot of people end up wasting their money. Moreover, women are easily trapped in this way and unnecessarily buy plenty of branded clothes just because a particular model was wearing that dress. This all would lead us towards a community who can spend a lot on their own but cannot support the poor people. Concluding the essay I would say that different types of publicity stunts have a negative impact on the community. If this continues to happen in the future, then the poor will remain poor and rich people will become richer.
The promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is becoming common day by day. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
viewpoints in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding advertisements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
views while others have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the publicity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our society.

According to a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. This is due to the following reasons.
Firstly
, flyers from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
stores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available on offer. You can
easily
decide where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a particular item.
In addition
to that, we can have information about any new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on the market.
Thus
, with this publicity, the public becomes aware of any special offer and the latest things in the city.

Contrary to that, advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
also
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our society. Although they inform you about the latest items, they are actually leaving an impression on our subconscious. Those who even don't need a particular item
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the attractive promoting way of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up wasting their money.
Moreover
, women are
easily
trapped in this way and
unnecessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of branded clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a particular model was wearing that dress. This all would lead us towards a community who can spend a lot on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot support the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Concluding the essay I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of publicity stunts have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the community. If this continues to happen in the future, then the poor will remain poor and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become richer.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our daily lives while others say it is negative one. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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