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Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.1

Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. 1
These days, advertisements in the form of T. V commercials, and social media paid content have become a new norm to send a message or sell products. The enormous impact of advertising has triggered a new debate questioning its positive and negative effects on individual behavior and life. In my opinion, despite some negligible drawbacks, advertisements have played an important role in bringing some positive changes in our lives. This essay will illustrate some of the possible drawbacks and many benefits of advertisements in our lives. On the one hand, beginning with the viewpoint of proponents, advertisements are an effective tool to bring many important cultural and social changes and breaking the stereotypes in any society. They further argue that advertising can trigger behavior changes and prompt an individual to break any bad habit which could be detrimental for society. For instance, the Pakistan government -in a bid to curb the menace of Plastic pollution-is running a media campaign to encourage people to slash the use of single-use plastic bags. Not only it has brought a positive outcome in a relatively short period of time but also helped the government to spend less on recycling. Therefore, advertising can be an important platform to send a public message and help fight national issues like poverty, corruption, and pollution. On the other hand, it is also argued by some that commercial advertisements being run by private organizations are forcing people to unnecessarily spend money on buying new products. For instance, evidence suggests that people who want to show off their wealth often do this by buying the latest mobile phones and advertisements were found to be the leading cause for this behavior. Another negative impact of advertising is a waste of time and resources. Indeed many businesses in a bid to compete and outdo their rivals are spending a lot on unnecessary advertisements which have resulted in cost escalation. Furthermore, it wastes valuable time of viewers who should only be shown relevant content on media. In a conclusion, having discussed both sides, in spite of few possible drawbacks, I believe that overall advertising has changed our lives in a positive manner and could be used to deliver a message to combat issues harmful for society
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in the form of T. V commercials, and social media paid content have become a new norm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a message or sell products. The enormous impact of advertising has triggered a new debate questioning its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on individual behavior and life. In my opinion, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negligible drawbacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will illustrate
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
possible drawbacks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the one hand, beginning with the viewpoint of proponents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are an effective tool to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cultural and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and breaking the stereotypes in any society. They
further
argue that advertising can trigger behavior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and prompt an individual to break any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit which could be detrimental for society.
For instance
, the Pakistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-in a bid to curb the menace of Plastic pollution-is running a media campaign to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to slash the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of single-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic bags. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it has brought a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
outcome in a
relatively
short period of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to spend less on recycling.
Therefore
, advertising can be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a public message and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fight national issues like poverty, corruption, and pollution.

On the other hand
, it is
also
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
being run
by private organizations are forcing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
unnecessarily
spend money on buying new products.
For instance
, evidence suggests that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do this by buying the latest mobile phones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
were found
to be the leading cause for this behavior. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of advertising is a waste of time and resources.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businesses in a bid to compete and outdo their rivals are spending a lot on unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which have resulted in cost escalation.
Furthermore
, it wastes valuable time of viewers who should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be shown
relevant content on media.

In a conclusion, having discussed both sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
few possible drawbacks, I believe that
overall
advertising has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
manner and could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to deliver a message to combat issues harmful for society
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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