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Some people believe that the most important aspect of their job is their salary. Others think that the job itself is the most important. What do you think is the most important aspect of a job? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v.1

Some people believe that the most important aspect of their job is their salary. Others think that the job itself is the most important. What do you think is the most important aspect of a job? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v. 1
In today's modern era, employment plays a vital role in everyone' life. However, few factions of the society argue that job satisfaction has an utmost impact on an individual. On the other hand, others opine that monetary growth is what matters eventually. While I admit that a better pay-package has become indispensable; yet, in my opinion, a satisfactory job is a need of the hour. Hence, I will elucidate my views in the following essay. First and foremost, employees who are happy in their professional life feel relaxed as a satisfied job alleviates stress. Hence, there is no denying the fact that majority of the individuals are going through tough situations owing to their personal life and other dilemmas. Hence, when they are provided up with a positive work environment and better workplace ethics, it makes them lead happy and content life. For instance, a survey conducted in Singapore, which is one the developed nations in the world, revealed that 84. 5 % of working individuals prefer satisfied job as compared to the financial growth. Moreover, job satisfaction increases productivity. To enunciate, amused employees work extremely hard in order to achieve better results. For instance, when companies follow flexible shift timings and every weekend off policy, it makes employees feel fresh on all weekdays. Consequently, it helps them to focus on their work with successful outcomes. To recapitulate, job satisfaction leads to upsurge in productivity and shields employees from unwanted stress and needless to say, it directly contributes to their work performance and income level.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern era, employment plays a vital role in everyone'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, few factions of the society argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction has an utmost impact on an individual.
On the other hand
, others opine that monetary growth is what matters
eventually
. While I admit that a better pay-package has become indispensable;
yet
, in my opinion, a satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a need of the hour.
Hence
, I will elucidate my views in the following essay.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who are happy in their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
feel relaxed as a satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
alleviates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Hence
, there is no denying the fact that majority of the individuals are going through tough situations owing to their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and other dilemmas.
Hence
, when they
are provided
up with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment and better workplace ethics, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them lead happy and content
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, a survey conducted in Singapore, which is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the developed nations in the world, revealed that 84. 5 % of working individuals prefer satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as compared to the financial growth.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction increases productivity. To enunciate, amused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to achieve better results.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
follow flexible shift timings and every weekend off policy, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
feel fresh on all weekdays.
Consequently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with successful outcomes.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction leads to upsurge in productivity and shields
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from unwanted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and needless to say, it
directly
contributes to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance and income level.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that the most important aspect of their job is their salary. Others think that the job itself is the most important. What do you think is the most important aspect of a job? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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