Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Advertising campaigns on TV that are targeted at children should be banned. To what extent to you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Advertising campaigns on TV that are targeted at children should be banned. v. 3
It is true that we are increasingly surrounded by advertisements that want to stimulate young people to purchase their products. While some people state that some of these are incompatible, I think that they are still useful for children. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that some of the marketing strategies exert pernicious influence upon youngsters. Firstly, teenagers are now bombarded with too many kinds of adverts, some of which are likely to contain numerous unsuited contents such as sexual or violent images. Secondly, companies are step-by-step commercializing their commodity to entice prospective adolescents by inviting celebrities to publicize their brands. Finally, children put pressure on parents to purchase them things on television. On the other hand, authorities should not put a ban on these types of adverts for a variety of reasons. The key factor leading to my opinion is that despite their offspring’s demand, parents also choose to buy products not just depending on publicity but also by their qualities. Moreover, there are a great deal of broadcasting propaganda of advantageous learning tools on television. For example, electronic dictionaries and alphabet still play an indispensable role in the development of people who are growing up. Furthermore, governments should control the related problems. To illustrate, they should censor false information on stocks that can be a detriment to people’s health condition such as smoking, unhealthy foods. In conclusion, although marketing aiming at youngsters sometimes have adverse impacts, I personally believe that they should not be prohibited due to some reasons mentioned above.
It is true that we are
increasingly
surrounded by advertisements that want to stimulate young
people
to
purchase
their products. While
some
people
state that
some
of these are incompatible, I
think
that they are
still
useful for children.

On the one hand, it cannot
be denied
that
some of the
marketing strategies exert pernicious influence upon youngsters.
Firstly
,
teenagers
are
now
bombarded with too
many
kinds of adverts,
some
of which are likely to contain numerous unsuited contents such as sexual or violent images.
Secondly
,
companies
are step-by-step commercializing their commodity to entice prospective adolescents by inviting celebrities to publicize their brands.
Finally
, children put pressure on parents to
purchase
them things on television.

On the other hand
, authorities should not put a ban on these types of adverts for a variety of reasons. The key factor leading to my opinion is that despite their offspring’s demand, parents
also
choose to
buy
products not
just
depending on publicity
but
also
by their qualities.
Moreover
, there are a great
deal
of broadcasting propaganda of advantageous learning tools on television.
For example
, electronic dictionaries and alphabet
still
play an indispensable role in the development of
people
who are growing up.
Furthermore
,
governments
should control the related problems. To illustrate, they should censor false information on stocks that can be a detriment to
people’s
health condition such as smoking, unhealthy foods.

In conclusion
, although marketing aiming at youngsters
sometimes
have adverse impacts, I
personally
believe that they should not
be prohibited
due to
some
reasons mentioned above.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising campaigns on TV that are targeted at children should be banned. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts