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advantages & disadvantages of living in an apartment and a house v.2

advantages & disadvantages of living in an apartment and a house v. 2
Nowadays, for our generation home is more than just a shelter and many factors affect the people’s choice to find their proper home type. Most of us find our suitable home in two major types, first type is an apartment and the second one is a house, but each one has some pros and cons for us that we are going to discuss in this essay. Undoubtedly apartments have been designed to bring us more advantages, However, they have some drawbacks. A main advantage of apartments is decreasing the cost of transportation. Regularly They are centralized in the heart of cities with easy access to public transportation and other facilities which can lead to reduce our transportation costs, but It is crucial to consider about the drawbacks of living in apartments in our mental state. For instance, without outdoor space and noise pollution, it can cause to mental problems such as depression. Indeed, these types of homes efficiently developed to maximize our benefits, but they have some negative points. In fact, houses are first type of homes and their comfort as the main advantage is undeniable. Every family member has enough space and always we can find enough room for outdoor activities. Obviously, this comfort is not free and everybody should consider hidden costs as a major disadvantage of houses. For More space we consume more energy that finally affects our pocket and our environment. Houses developed due to our demands via enhancing their positive points, but they have also some weakness. To conclude, it appears that apartments tuned for work life on the other hand houses have more benefits for our family life, but if we know the drawbacks of each one, we can overcome the consequences. For example, we can use solar panel to reduce our cost in houses or when we live in apartments, we plan to spend more time in nature.
Nowadays, for our generation home is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a shelter and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s choice to find their proper home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
. Most of us find our suitable home in two major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
,
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
and the second one is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
each one has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons for us that we are going to discuss in this essay.

Undoubtedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
have
been designed
to bring us more advantages,
However
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. A main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
is decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of transportation.
Regularly
They
are centralized
in the heart of cities with easy access to public transportation and other facilities which can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It is crucial to
Did you mean simply "consider the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about the
drawbacks of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
in our mental state.
For instance
, without outdoor space and noise pollution, it can cause to mental problems such as depression.
Indeed
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
efficiently
developed to maximize our benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points.

In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and their comfort as the main advantage is undeniable. Every family member has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space and always we can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
room for outdoor activities.
Obviously
, this comfort is not free and everybody should consider hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
as a major disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. For More space we consume more energy that
finally
affects our pocket and our environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Houses
developed due to our demands via enhancing their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
weakness.

To conclude
, it appears that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
tuned for work life
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
have more benefits for our family life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we know the drawbacks of each one, we can overcome the consequences.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
solar panel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
or when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
, we plan to spend more time in nature.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay advantages & disadvantages of living in an apartment and a house v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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