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In many countries these days the number of people continuing their education after school has increased and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased Do you think this as a positive or negative development v.3

In many countries these days the number of people continuing their education after school has increased and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased Do you think this as a positive or negative development v. 3
Academic qualification is one of the ways to reach a better society. While, nowadays governments are making an effort to increase number of universities in all over the world. Also, people choose to keep on their education after school comparing to the past. Therefore, there need to be different particular subjects and much more colleges. Having a higher education seriously effects on society knowledge level. To be more exact, if people continue their education to the higher, this awareness would be expand into society and later generation. For instance, comparing childrearing in the educational and the illiterate families shows that in the most cases there is a direct connection between children maturity and academic studies of parents. The other impact of educational society is its major role in countries development. Indeed, the more stidents are well-trained in universities, the more they are effective in associations. For example, if studends are well educated in economy they come up with the right idea to build a better economic basis for their country. In conclusion, the higher educated people are playing the most significant role in all part of the society. Furtheremore, the nations development is also depends on them. Not to be forgotten that all these repercussions will be obtained by good education system.
Academic qualification is one of the ways to reach a better
society
.
While
, nowadays
governments
are making an effort to increase number of universities in all over the world.
Also
,
people
choose to
keep
on their
education
after school comparing to the past.
Therefore
, there need to be
different
particular subjects and much more colleges.

Having a higher
education
seriously
effects on
society
knowledge level. To be more exact, if
people
continue their
education
to the higher, this awareness would be
expand
into
society
and later generation.
For instance
, comparing
childrearing
in the educational and the illiterate families
shows
that in the most cases there is a direct
connection between
children maturity and academic studies of parents.

The other impact of educational
society
is its major role in countries development.
Indeed
, the more
stidents
are well-trained in universities, the more they are effective in associations.
For example
, if
studends
are
well educated
in economy they
come
up with the right
idea
to build a better
economic
basis for their country.

In conclusion
, the higher educated
people
are playing the most significant role in all part of the
society
.
Furtheremore
, the
nations
development is
also
depends on them. Not to
be forgotten
that all these repercussions will
be obtained
by
good
education
system.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay In many countries these days the number of people continuing their education after school has increased and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased Do you think this as a positive or negative development v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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