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Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore working hours should be reduced. v.2

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore working hours should be reduced. v. 2
Work-life balance is a buzzword these days and a group of people think that offices should decrease the working hours. They express their view on the fact that automation and technological advancements enable employees to do more works per hour and hence their office hours should be reduced. This essay delves into the issue and expresses my viewpoint. To begin with, technological advancements and computerisation in an office greatly enhance the productivity of people. As a result, the staff can produce more output and can perform more efficiently. For example, in the pre-computer era, a bank cashier had to work manually, check different ledger books, verify a person’s identity and then pay a customer. Moreover, at the end of the day, the cashier had to calculate all the transactions before he could leave the office alone with other cashiers. However, this is not longer the case with the automation in the banking industry. A cashier can now serve more than 3-5 customers in 15 minutes and at the end of the day, the banking software does the calculation. Hence, reducing the working hours seems quite logical to me. Furthermore, motivating employees and retaining the key employees are two challenges every organisation faces in this competitive age. Reducing the working hours could be an effective solution in achieving better success in the long run. Since most of the employees, these days, perform more tasks due to the technological help they should be given more time to spend with their family to establish a healthy professional and personal life balance. Finally, organisations which need to remain open 24/7 like the hospital, fire-service, hotel and so on should implement a rostering system and take advantages of the modern technology as much as possible to reduce the manual works. This would not only enhance their overall productivity but also establish a healthy and productive work environment. To conclude, considering everything, I personally believe that the working hours of office employees should be reduced as it would both motivate staff and help organisations retain their better-performing employees and generate more output.
Work-life balance is a buzzword these days and a group of
people
think
that
offices
should decrease the
working
hours
. They express their view on the fact that automation and technological advancements enable
employees
to do more works per
hour
and
hence
their
office
hours
should be
reduced
. This essay delves into the issue and expresses my viewpoint.

To
begin
with, technological advancements and
computerisation
in an
office
greatly
enhance the productivity of
people
.
As a result
, the staff can produce more output and can perform more
efficiently
.
For example
, in the
pre-computer
era, a bank
cashier
had to
work
manually
,
check
different
ledger books, verify a person’s identity and then pay a customer.
Moreover
, at the
end
of the day, the
cashier
had to calculate all the transactions
before
he could
leave
the
office
alone with other
cashiers
.
However
, this is not longer the case with the automation in the banking industry. A
cashier
can
now
serve more than 3-5 customers in 15 minutes and at the
end
of the day, the banking software does the calculation.
Hence
, reducing the
working
hours
seems quite logical to me.

Furthermore
, motivating
employees
and retaining the key
employees
are two challenges every
organisation
faces in this competitive age. Reducing the
working
hours
could be an effective solution in achieving better success in the long run. Since most of the
employees
, these days, perform more tasks due to the technological
help
they should be
given
more time to spend with their family to establish a healthy professional and personal life balance.

Finally
,
organisations
which need to remain open 24/7 like the hospital, fire-service, hotel and
so
on should implement a
rostering
system and take advantages of the modern technology as much as possible to
reduce
the manual works. This would not
only
enhance their
overall
productivity
but
also
establish a healthy and productive
work
environment.

To conclude
, considering everything, I
personally
believe that the
working
hours
of
office
employees
should be
reduced
as it would both motivate staff and
help
organisations
retain their better-performing
employees
and generate more output.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore working hours should be reduced. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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