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Accomodation and transport problems are increasing in many large cities. Businesses are encouraged to move to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Accomodation and transport problems are increasing in many large cities. Businesses are encouraged to move to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
Many people believe that in order to solve housings and transportation issues in many big cities today, governments should relocate businesses to the countryside. While I accept such policies can have some benefits, I would argue that the drawbacks it has are more significant. On the one hand, moving businesses to suburban areas can solves some major problems. Firstly, by relocating big organisations, many transportation issues in the city centre coule be solved. The relocations of businesses mean office workers will have to change their commuting habits. Everyday, they will go outside the city centre, which helps solving traffic congestion in the urban areas. Secondly, in order to save time, many workers will move to the countryside, resulting in the reduction of population density in the city. A smaller number of people living in the city means the housings problems will be less significant. On the other hand, these policies can have some drawbacks. The first one is that far away businesses will adversely affect citizens' lives. Moving businesses to the rural areas means that people will have to spend more time for transportation. For example, supermarkets being moved to suburban areas will make daily shopping cost more time and energy for city shoppers. Additionally, the relocations will make the links between businesses disappear. The reason why many businesses choose to stay in the city is to saving costs. Imagine if suppliers have to travel hundred kilometers more to reach consumers, such changes can result in the loss of billion dollars per year. By located in the city, businesses can perform in the most effective way. In conclusion, I believe that the drawbacks of businesse relocations outweigh its benefits.
Many
people
believe that in order to solve housings and transportation issues in
many
big
cities
today
,
governments
should relocate
businesses
to the countryside. While I accept such policies can have
some
benefits, I would argue that the drawbacks it has are more significant.

On the one hand, moving
businesses
to suburban
areas
can solves
some
major problems.
Firstly
, by relocating
big
organisations
,
many
transportation issues in the city
centre
coule
be solved
. The relocations of
businesses
mean office workers will
have to
change
their commuting habits.
Everyday
, they will go outside the city
centre
, which
helps
solving
traffic congestion in the urban
areas
.
Secondly
, in order to save time,
many
workers will
move
to the countryside, resulting in the reduction of population density in the city. A smaller number of
people
living in the city means the housings problems will be less significant.

On the other hand
, these policies can have
some
drawbacks. The
first
one is that far away
businesses
will
adversely
affect
citizens&
#039;
lives
. Moving
businesses
to the rural
areas
means that
people
will
have to
spend more time for transportation.
For example
, supermarkets being
moved
to suburban
areas
will
make
daily shopping cost more time and energy for city shoppers.
Additionally
, the relocations will
make
the links between
businesses
disappear. The reason why
many
businesses
choose to stay in the city is
to saving
costs. Imagine if suppliers
have to
travel
hundred
kilometers more to reach consumers, such
changes
can result in the loss of billion dollars per year. By located in the city,
businesses
can perform in the most effective way.

In conclusion
, I believe that the drawbacks of
businesse
relocations outweigh its benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Accomodation and transport problems are increasing in many large cities. Businesses are encouraged to move to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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