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A serious problem affecting countries across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortages, and what could be done to alleviate the problem? v.2

A serious problem affecting countries across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortages, and what could be done to alleviate the problem? v. 2
In recent rears, the less of water using for drinking, washing, or domestic activities is more and more popular in all the world. Although there are several reasons for this problem, some obvious solutions could be taken to solve this issue. To begin with, the phenomenon can be attributable to two principal factors. First and foremost, wasting water is the main reason for facing water shortages of many countries. For example, water is supplied for free in some nations, which can lead to the consumption lifestyle when leaving taps running and washing or brushing teeth. In addition, another worrying trend is the population explosion in globe. To be more specific, water supply systems could not meet the demand of usage water of all people in the world with clean water. Therefore, in developing countries such as Africa, local communities do not have enough water to use, even they have to consume dirty water which have significant effects for their health. On the other hand, it is not impossible to tackle such problem as there are promising solutions that we can make use of. Firstly, the awareness of individuals must be raised by educating the importance of water in their life. In other words, children should be taught that water plays a key role in their life and they have to protect it to maintain water source in the world. Secondly, a good idea is that government should invest in the water supply systems instead of other activities like entertainment. For example, building a system which supply clean water for inhabitants living in Africa is extremely necessary before their health could be threaten by unsafe water source. In conclusion, the lack of water in people’s activities nowadays cause a great number of effects to their life because of some reasons, however, some aforesaid measures should be taken to resolve this issue in their modern daily life.
In recent rears,
The phrase 'the less of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the less of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
using for drinking, washing, or domestic activities is more and more popular in all the world. Although there are several reasons for this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious solutions could
be taken
to solve this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the phenomenon can be attributable to two principal factors.
First
and foremost, wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is the main reason for facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
shortages of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is supplied
for free in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, which can lead to the consumption lifestyle when leaving taps running and washing or brushing teeth.
In addition
, another worrying trend is the population explosion in globe. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply systems could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand of usage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world with clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Therefore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
such as Africa, local communities do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, even they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consume dirty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which have significant effects for their health.

On the other hand
, it is not impossible to tackle such problem as there are promising solutions that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of.
Firstly
, the awareness of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be raised
by educating the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In other words
, children should
be taught
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
plays a key role in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect it to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
source in the world.
Secondly
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply systems
instead
of other activities like entertainment.
For example
, building a system which supply clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for inhabitants living in Africa is
extremely
necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their health could be
Consider using the past participle "threatened"?
threaten
by unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
source.

In conclusion
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s activities nowadays cause a great number of effects to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aforesaid measures should
be taken
to resolve this issue in their modern daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay A serious problem affecting countries across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortages, and what could be done to alleviate the problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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