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A recent newspaper article report that a 14-year-old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of sent to the prison, do you think this is right? Or the young criminals should be sent to jail. v.1

A recent newspaper article report that a 14-year-old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of sent to the prison, do you think this is right? Or the young criminals should be sent to jail. v. 1
Reading is contemplated as a first step of a sequential learning of a human being. People believe, that an offspring who gets in this habit as early as a toddler state, is expected to excel later in his education. I completely contend for this thought. However, there are other factors that can be propitious for a minor's gradual academic performance. In this essay we will discuss the importance of reading skill in a student's prosperity and will mention two more factors influencing the overall accomplishment of a child. Reading helps in cognitive development of a human being. When this habit is inculcated in a person right from his early age, the growth proliferates. Firstly, reading ascertains good vocabulary to an offspring's speech. Moreover, this practice makes kids more inquisitive to a subject because their learning spectrum has already widened, hence, they tend to read more to explore more. From my personal experience, I started reading to my son as soon as he was 6 months old, and now, before submitting his research on any topic in his school, he tries to explore all the possible facts, reads them thoroughly, and as a result, his reports are sufficiently proofed. Having said that, reading becomes a paramount block in the student's learning process. Can just a reading skill take a person to heights? Of course, no. It's essential to enhance an infant's gross and fine motor skills to ensure that he leads a healthy life to support effective learning. Firstly, this is achieved by introducing a youngster to art skills, so as to develop his fine motor skills and to give him a freedom to express through his work. Secondly, multifarious sports activities are introduced to kids right from the beginning to ensure that they possess sufficient gross motor skills. A study of a child psychology department of UK university states that, children who are expressive and are active, are 80% expected to succeed later in their lives, than those who do not. Nonetheless, art and games contribute significantly to an individual's learning. To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated information and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that, though reading is a dominant factor in kids' academic success, yet, arts and games are equally vital for a gradual learning process. I would conclude that, If reading ensures right intellectual growth, then the other two mentioned aspects become a catalyst to a holistic growth of a being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
is contemplated
as a
first
step of a sequential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
of a human being.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe, that an offspring who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
in this habit as early as a toddler state, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to excel later in his education. I completely contend for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
However
, there are other factors that can be propitious for a minor's gradual academic performance. In this essay we will discuss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in a student's prosperity and will mention two more factors influencing the
overall
accomplishment of a child.

Reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in cognitive development of a human being. When this habit
is inculcated
in a person right from his early age, the growth proliferates.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
ascertains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
vocabulary to an offspring's speech.
Moreover
, this practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
kids more inquisitive to a subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
spectrum has already widened,
hence
, they tend to read more to explore more. From my personal experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
to my son as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as he was 6 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
submitting his research on any topic in his school, he tries to explore all the possible facts, reads them
thoroughly
, and
as a result
, his reports are
sufficiently
proofed. Having said that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
becomes a paramount block in the student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process.

Can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
take a person to heights?
Of course
, no. It's essential to enhance an infant's gross and fine motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to ensure that he leads a healthy life to support effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Firstly
, this
is achieved
by introducing a youngster to art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
develop his fine motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and to give him
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "freedom".
a freedom
to express through his work.
Secondly
, multifarious sports activities
are introduced
to kids right from the beginning to ensure that they possess sufficient gross motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. A study of a child psychology department of UK university states that, children who are expressive and are active, are 80%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to succeed later in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, than those who do not. Nonetheless, art and games contribute
significantly
to an individual's learning.

To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated information and deliberating all the facts, it can
be deducted
that, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is a dominant factor in kids' academic success,
yet
, arts and games are
equally
vital for a gradual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process. I would conclude that, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
ensures right intellectual growth, then the other two mentioned aspects become a catalyst to a holistic growth of a being.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay A recent newspaper article report that a 14-year-old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of sent to the prison, do you think this is right? Or the young criminals should be sent to jail. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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