Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. v. 3
Drug abuse is a common observation, especially among the younger generation. It is stated that, these people should be punished for such acts by imprisonment, while others think that, they should be hospitalized and treated for this disease. This essay will discuss both these views and in my opinion, these individuals should be treated in a hospital as they are in a physically and mentally compromised state. Addiction to drugs is a vicious disease. Once if a person gets habituated, it is extremely difficult for them to leave that habit. Therefore, sometimes for a small dose, they can commit crime like robbery or murder. For example, the motive in a theft case reported yesterday, was money to purchase drugs. Hence, some feel that these individuals should be treated like criminals, so that, others will get discouraged. Despite all this, many of them wish to come out of such lifestyle and need help for the same. If they will be treated like law breakers, they may get discouraged from choosing the right path. These chemicals have severe physical and mental implications on the human body and that is why, they should be treated with care. For instance, the Punjab government has opened a free Rehabilitation centre for drug addicts, so that, they can quit the habit and resume a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, individuals suffering from drug addiction should be treated by health care centres, while some believe that, they should be subjected to trails and be imprisoned. This essay discussed both these opinions, however, according to me, they should be sent to hospitals as they are unwell physically and mentally.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drug
abuse is a common observation,
especially
among the younger generation. It
is stated
that, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be punished
for such acts by imprisonment, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, they should
be hospitalized
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
for this disease. This essay will discuss both these views and in my opinion, these individuals should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
in a hospital as they are in a
physically
and mentally compromised state.

Addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
is a vicious disease. Once if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
habituated, it is
extremely
difficult for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
that habit.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
dose, they can commit crime like robbery or murder.
For example
, the motive in a theft case reported yesterday, was money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that these individuals should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
like criminals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, others will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
discouraged.

Despite all this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of such lifestyle and need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for the same. If they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
like law breakers, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
discouraged from choosing the right path. These chemicals have severe physical and mental implications on the human body and
that is
why, they should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
with care.
For instance
, the Punjab
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has opened a free Rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they can quit the habit and resume a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion
, individuals suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
by health care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that, they should
be subjected
to trails and
be imprisoned
. This essay discussed both these opinions,
however
, according to me, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to hospitals as they are unwell
physically
and mentally.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts