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A popular event like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension. Releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way. To what extend. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

A popular event like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension. Releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way. v. 2
The various nation is living around the world and they have a patriotic feeling of their blood. So it is often said that the best way to releasing loyal emotion and international tensions is participating most popular event such as football world cup, cricket world cup and international events. I think that it is entirely straightforward and i strongly agree with this assertion. Furthermore, i glad to write, I have a plethora of reasons for this statement positively. Firstly, every country' s people can portage to the peak of famous in their countries infant of the world by international sports competition. In the international sport occasions if one of the countries wins that event definitely that country could be famous in the world and players can play very well and could be throw their patriotic feeling of their ow n countries. For instant, Brazil football team was won football world cup which was the world popular foot ball competition. So those sportsmen played their best and contest well them for their motherland. Consequently, players can be released international tension through the games. Secondly, people can reduce crimes between struggling aggressive countries also some neighbour countries have war and hate between each other such as India and Pakistan. By this, they can meet while competition and understood deeply with each other. However, sometimes this incident affected negatively. When two countries played a game, those two countries are completely anger. Indeed, if one country is won and other countries could not sustain their success and some times, they had created aggressive behaviours. To recapitulate, considering the above paragraph, we can get a clear idea about the above assertion. It has various pros and cons of patriotic emotion that were through popular events like world cups.
The various nation is living around the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they have a patriotic feeling of their blood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that the best way to releasing loyal emotion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tensions is participating most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
such as football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cup
, cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cup
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
entirely
straightforward and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion.

Furthermore
, i glad to write, I have a plethora of reasons for this statement
positively
.
Firstly
, every
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can portage to the peak of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
infant of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sports competition. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sport occasions if one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
wins that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
definitely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and players can play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well and could be
Consider using a past participle here: "thrown".
throw
their patriotic feeling of their ow n
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. For instant, Brazil football team
was won
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cup
which was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
popular foot ball competition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
those sportsmen played their best and contest well them for their motherland.
Consequently
, players can
be released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tension through the games.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crimes between struggling aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have war and hate between each other such as India and Pakistan. By this, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
while competition and understood
deeply
with each other.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this incident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
negatively
. When two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
played a game, those two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are completely anger.
Indeed
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is won
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could not sustain their success and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times, they had created aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

To recapitulate, considering the above paragraph, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the above assertion. It has various pros and cons of patriotic emotion that were through popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay A popular event like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension. Releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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