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A popular event like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension. Releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way. To what extend. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

A popular event like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension. Releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way. v. 1
There is a growing practice worldwide to have a small family instead of having a big family. It is argued by some that this is meritorious because it is cheaper than taking care of a larger family. Although this is true, there are demerits too. Admittedly, raising a sizable family does not require so much money as a large family would. The resources of the family can easily go round and no one will be left without the basic necessities of life. For example, in a household of about three or four, the breadwinner will not feel much stress, providing the needs of his family members as opposed to a family of six or more. Additionally, in a small household, the parents can be better caregivers than when they are quite large. It will be difficult to give attention to the peculiarity of each child. On the other hand, having a small family has its own issues too. Unlike a large household, people that come from a small household are selfish. They do not do things together and they usually have separate rooms. Therefore, it becomes difficult for children in such an environment to be selfless. Furthermore, large families have an advantage when it comes to getting work done and on time. Because of their large number, it will be easy for the parents to assign chores to each member of the family. This results in a clean house as well as responsible children. In conclusion, while there are advantages in having a small family, the selfish nature that develops as a result of having all the needs of life met in such a small household need not be overlooked.
There is a growing practice worldwide to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that this is meritorious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is cheaper than taking care of a larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Although this is true, there are demerits too.

Admittedly
, raising a sizable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
does not require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much money as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would. The resources of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
easily
go round and no one will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life.
For example
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
of about three or four, the breadwinner will not feel much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, providing the needs of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members as opposed to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of six or more.
Additionally
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
, the parents can be better caregivers than when they are quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
. It will be difficult to give attention to the peculiarity of each child.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
issues too. Unlike a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
are selfish. They do not do things
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
together and
they
usually
have separate rooms.
Therefore
, it becomes difficult for children in such an environment to be selfless.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have an advantage when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to getting work done and on time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number, it will be easy for the parents to assign chores to each member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This results in a clean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as well
as responsible children.

In conclusion
, while there are advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the selfish nature that develops
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
all the needs of life met in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
need not
be overlooked
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay A popular event like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension. Releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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