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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.33

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 33
The value of the people was measured according to their honour, trust and kindness until today. Unfortunately, this judgment couldn't proceed along. The quantity of the people depends to a place in society and personal property from the present. I can see both sides of this argument and I will explain my perspective with examples in this essay. On the one hand, the given viewpoint is correct. As a reason is that, many people regard wealth as human dignity. According to their opinion the people can be valuable, only if they are rich and they have a career. There are a lot of people who fear humans, according to social status and material possessions. For example, the people who have own business and succeeded. Likewise, the individual who has a car and magnificent lodging or works in a high rank. Some foolish people tribute these kinds of mankind. Moreover, they appreciate and imitate to them. Nowadays we can see 60% of people whose viewpoint the similar with them. If they continue to think at this age, the true human value will be lost. On the other hand, the people who appreciation others for their good character, honesty and benefaction are exist in our life. They think the most costly people should be very helpful and charitable. Because, they are important features of the mankind. For instance, the person who helps to others with moral and material support will receive their blessing. The needy men will never forget this aid, furthermore will regard and appreciate this benefactor. I think the number of these people will never disappear. On the whole, there are two types of people whose opinions are opposed among them. But both of them right. The main reason is that, the people who judged the value of others for their honour, kindness and trust are subsist. Nevertheless, the people who judged for their property and social status are more than the first type of humans. Consequently, both of them are exist at the present.
The value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was measured
according to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, trust and kindness until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Unfortunately, this judgment couldn't proceed along. The quantity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
to a place in society and personal property from the present. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
both sides of this argument and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my perspective with examples in this essay.

On the one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
viewpoint is correct. As a reason is that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard wealth as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
dignity. According to their opinion the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be valuable,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rich and
they have a career. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
fear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, according to social status and material possessions.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and succeeded.
Likewise
, the individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a car and magnificent lodging or works in a high rank.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
foolish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tribute these kinds of mankind.
Moreover
, they appreciate and imitate to them. Nowadays we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose viewpoint the similar with them. If they continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
at this age, the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
value will
be lost
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
appreciation others for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
character, honesty and benefaction are
Consider using a past participle here: "existed".
exist
in our life. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful and charitable.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
features of the mankind.
For instance
, the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to others with moral and material support will receive their blessing. The needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
will never forget this aid,
furthermore
will regard and appreciate this benefactor. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the number of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will never disappear.

On the whole
, there are two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose opinions
are opposed
among them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
both of them right. The main reason is that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
judged the value of others for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, kindness and trust are
Consider using a past participle here: "subsisted".
subsist
.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
judged for their property and social status are more than the
first
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Consequently
, both of them are
Consider using a past participle here: "existed".
exist
at the present.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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