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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.26

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 26
The rich and the famous command greater respect in the modern society. In fact, values such as kindness, generosity and honesty are becoming irrelevant. Therefore, I agree with the argument that worldly riches and social standing have become the new measures of a person’s worth. One of the reasons for this development is that the media encourage young people to follow the wrong role models. Also it has become difficult for ethical people succeed in this immoral world. Youngsters these days choose the wrong people as their idols. They are misguided by the notion that a person should be wealthy and famous to be successful. They read about models, singers and actors having millions of followers on social media and want to be like them. They do not care whether the person they admire has character or integrity. They are blinded by the hype surrounding these people. Since they are always gazing at the ‘stars’, they do not get an opportunity to learn from the real heroes. Not surprisingly, a study conducted by a well-known university in 2016 revealed that 75% of girls aged between 14 and 18 years would rather be like Khloe Kardashian than Madam Curie or Mother Teresa. However, this does not mean that people with principles have gone extinct. They are still around, but they cannot find their way to a position of power or success. More often than not we observe that the offices of power are held by rich and influential people who are morally corrupt. Youngsters who follow them on social media and elsewhere get the impression that the honest cannot succeed in this world. Consequently, they give up on their ideology and choose to tread the easy path that would take them to success. In conclusion, values have certainly become irrelevant in the twenty-first century. This could be due to various factors such as the influence of the media, which constantly raves about the rich and the famous. Another factor that contributes to the demise of age-old values is the fact that honest and ethical people are struggling to succeed in this materialistic world.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
command greater respect in the modern society. In fact, values such as kindness, generosity and honesty are becoming irrelevant.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that worldly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riches
and social standing have become the new measures of a person’s worth. One of the reasons for this development is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
encourage young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
role models.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it has become difficult for ethical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
succeed in this immoral world.

Youngsters these days choose the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as their idols. They
are misguided
by the notion that a person should be wealthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
to be successful. They read about models, singers and actors having millions of followers on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and want to be like them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
do not care whether the person they admire has character or integrity.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
are blinded
by the hype surrounding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Since they are always gazing at the ‘stars’, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to learn from the real heroes. Not
surprisingly
, a study conducted by a well-known university in 2016 revealed that 75% of girls aged between 14 and 18 years would
rather
be like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khloe
Kardashian than Madam Curie or Mother Teresa.

However
, this does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with principles have gone extinct. They are
still
around,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot find their way to a position of power or success. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not we observe that the offices of power
are held
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
morally
corrupt. Youngsters who follow them on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and elsewhere
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the impression that the honest cannot succeed in this world.
Consequently
, they give up on their ideology and choose to tread the easy path that would take them to success.

In conclusion
, values have
certainly
become irrelevant in the twenty-
first
century. This could be due to various factors such as the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which
constantly
raves about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. Another factor that contributes to the demise of age-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
values is the fact that honest and ethical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are struggling to succeed in this materialistic world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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