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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.6

According to some people, it is better to get adjustable with a bad situation, whereas, other people think it is better to turn these situations around by improving themselves. In this essay, I will discuss each side and give my own opinion. Firstly, I will talk about accepting a bad situation and secondly, I will provide arguments for improving a particular situation. People mostly tend to not take any risk in financial world or business as for them, it is their hard-earned money. In terms of risk, sometimes a long period EMI is taken or a loan for which they are bound to their work for long years and do not work in field of their interest, but for their bills and liabilities. Situations like this will make a person belive that fate is responsible for their financial doom and in addition to this, they will no longer take any risk or experiment new things in life, which ultimately leads to monotonous, vegetated lifestyle. Therefore, making them accept and get adjusted with their current situation. In contrast to this, any situation or scenario, financial or personal, can be taken positively and a person may work towards it to make it better. For example, Elon Musk was fired from CEO position of Paypal when he went with his wife on honeymoon. At that time, he was a considerable shareholder and received millions of dollars from selling those shares. He could have easily settled in a big house with expensive cars ad do nothing, but, he decided to opt for a business, SpaceX, which is now one of the world's biggest space exploration organization. Thus, being able to take risk in life, a person not only improves the situation, but also gains experience. In concusion, there is no need for a person to accept a situation and sit idly by when there are opportunities that can turn life around in seconds. In my opinion, people can manage their financial situation by just applying their brain and work towards a goal or project and take risk that is not conventional to society. Also, taking the risk may lead to failure, but we should never forget that Edison developed electricity in more than 900 failed attempts.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adjustable with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, whereas, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to turn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
around by improving themselves. In this essay, I will discuss each side and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.
Firstly
, I will talk about accepting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
secondly
, I will provide arguments for improving a particular situation.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
mostly
tend to not take any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
world or business as for them, it is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned money. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a long period EMI
is taken
or a loan for which they
are bound
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long years and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in field of their interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for their bills and liabilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Situations
like this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that fate is responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
doom and
in addition
to this, they will no longer take any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
or experiment new things in life, which
ultimately
leads to monotonous, vegetated lifestyle.
Therefore
, making them accept and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adjusted with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.

In contrast
to this, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
or scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
or personal, can
be taken
positively
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
towards it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it better.
For example
, Elon Musk
was fired
from CEO position of
The official name of this payment provider is spelled with two capital “P”.
Paypal
when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
went with
his wife on honeymoon. At that time, he was a considerable shareholder and received millions of dollars from selling those shares. He could have
easily
settled in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with expensive
An apostrophe may be missing.
cars
ad do nothing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, he decided to opt for a business, SpaceX, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the world's biggest space exploration organization.
Thus
, being able to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
in life, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gains experience.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
concusion
, there is no need for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to accept a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and sit
idly
by when there are opportunities that can turn life around in seconds. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
applying their brain and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
towards a goal or project and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
that is
not conventional to society.
Also
, taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
may lead to failure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should never forget that Edison developed electricity in more than 900 failed attempts.
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One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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