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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.22

It is more and more typical of our society to pay attention to richness and social position which people convey, rather than human values. Kind and reliable people seem that are not important in our society anymore. In my opinion, this is not true in real life between real people, because it is a tendency of social media and television to focus more on appearance rather than on important values such as kindness and reliance on others. Firstly, human relationships base their importance on trust between two people and it does not matter the amount of money a person earns or the number of cars somebody own. As a matter of fact, I do not think a man and a woman decide to pass their entire life without relying on each other. All in all, we choose people who can stand by ourselves in relation to love, confidence, kindness and importance they give us. However, there is a portion of humankind that is unfairly growing which relates a person’s importance with economical wealth and social status. As an example, social media such as Instagram or Facebook, are full of people trying at every cost to appear better than they are, in order to gain reputation and then money. In particular, they tend to show themselves near beautiful girls, nice cars and luxurious places, as if like money could buy anything a person wants. In conclusion, even if social media have been strengthening the importance of appearance and money for years, I still think that dated values are tacit but always present, because they permit us to relate with other people, to gain a true social position which is reached without economical or showy means.
It is more and more typical of our society to pay attention to richness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
position which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
convey,
rather
than human values. Kind and reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem that are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our society anymore. In my opinion, this is not true in real life between real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and television to focus more on appearance
rather
than on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
values such as kindness and reliance on others.

Firstly
, human relationships base their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
on trust between two
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
it does not matter the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
a person earns or the number of cars somebody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. As a matter of fact, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and a woman decide to pass their entire life without relying on each other. All in all, we choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can stand by ourselves in relation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, confidence, kindness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
they give us.

However
, there is a portion of humankind
that is
unfairly
growing which relates a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
with economical wealth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status. As an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media such as Instagram or Facebook, are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trying at every cost to appear better than they are, in order to gain reputation and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In particular
, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
themselves near
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
girls, nice cars and luxurious places, as if like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything a person wants.

In conclusion
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media have been strengthening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of appearance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for years, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that dated values are tacit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
always present,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they permit us to relate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to gain a true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
position which
is reached
without economical or showy means.
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IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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