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Schools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Schools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. v. 2
Over the past half-decade, there has been a rapid increase in the number of children having burgers, fries and other forms of junk food in several countries. While some assert that it is the school’s job to encourage students to eat healthy food, others reckon it is the sole responsibility of the child’s parents to prevent them from eating such food. This essay discusses both view points and will arrive at a conclusion. Eating fast food can be associated with multiple health risks, and teachers and instructors at school should stop their students from consuming junk food. As children spend plenty of time at school, it is a teacher's job to educate their pupils about the health hazards such as obesity, hypertension and other morbidities from eating fat rich food. Recently, the Food and Drug Regulatory Authority in the U. S. has passed a legislation to abort the practice of distributing fast food items in schools all across America. As a result, obesity index of students has plummeted in the U. S. On the contrary, it might be thought that parents should train the diet habits of their children. This can be achieved easily if they provide their wards with only healthy food instead of fast food right from the beginning. For instance, they should add more vegetables and fruits in their meals. If parents adopt such measures for their children, they will not indulge in unhealthy diet consisting of pizza, chips and Coke in the future. In conclusion, even though parents should teach their children the importance of natural, health friendly foods, I believe that it is precisely the job of school management to educate their students to conform their diets to match healthy standards. This will bring long lasting benefits in their lives in terms of their physical and mental fitness.
Over the past half-decade, there has been a rapid increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having burgers, fries and other forms of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in several countries. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assert that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
job to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to eat healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, others reckon it is the sole responsibility of the child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from eating such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This essay discusses both view points and will arrive at a conclusion.

Eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
be associated
with multiple health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, and teachers and instructors at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from consuming junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is a teacher's job to educate their pupils about the health hazards such as obesity, hypertension and other
Possible spelling mistake found.
morbidities
from eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Recently, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
and Drug Regulatory Authority in the U. S. has passed a legislation to abort the practice of distributing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
all across America.
As a result
, obesity index of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has plummeted in the U. S.

On the contrary
, it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should train the diet habits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This can
be achieved
easily
if they provide their wards with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
right from the beginning.
For instance
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more vegetables and fruits in their meals. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
adopt such measures for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they will not indulge in unhealthy diet consisting of pizza, chips and Coke in the future.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the importance of natural, health friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, I believe that it is
precisely
the job of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
management to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to conform their diets to match healthy standards. This will bring
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
benefits in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in terms of their physical and mental fitness.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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